Moving Woes

[Affectedly Shy]

A couple months ago my girlfriend asked me to move out with her (both of us from our current homes to a new one). We live about an hour away from each other, so partly it was to be closer to each other. It was a really tough thought I mulled over in my head. The closer and closer we got to the day we were shooting for (even though our finances weren't panning out perfect) the happier I felt about it.

Now she's been talking about moving out with her sister (with the aid of money from her relative with that stipulation on it). She says it would be temporary (for multiple reasons, one of which being they probably won't get along for that long).

Well, I'm not sure what to do. Should I let her have her couple months, then move in with her? Or go with my worries and tell her I want to move in with her now? :(

[vashti]

I think you should let her move in with her sister .

[clynn]

You can't really "let her" do anything.

No need to rush a good thing. If she isn't ready to move in with you yet, probably best to wait. After all, it is tough to go back to dating from cohabitating.

Maybe she has never lived with her sister before...and before she gets all serious and settled with a guy, she thinks she wants to have that last opportunity for "sister time".

[Affectedly Shy]

I would "let her" without having a fit or whatever.

Please don't insinuate that I would harrass her. You don't even know me yet, that's very unfair.

So, the advice here is missing an understanding of everything stated. We were already going to move in. There is no "rushing into", there is instead "a different situation being presented". It'll be easier for her to move because she'll get free money. But in exchange she has to move in with her sister. But she still gets to decide what she'll do, and being that I'm her boyfriend, I get to have my word as well. Please tell me that's not alien to you. =\

[vashti]

Wow - you sure are a sensitive kind of guy, aren't you? Do you really think we don't know that depending on how you handle yourself over this matter, you can make this girl's life very difficult?

If she is even questioning this, she isn't ready. I think you should *support* her living with her sister, but then again, I think living with someone before you are married is kind of dumb (from a practical point of view, not moral).

[Affectedly Shy]

Well, I kinda wanted help for my side. So you say "her life will be horrible" whatever, but it's like...sure, nice to think about other people, but what about me, man? :P

And yeah, I am sensitive, which gets me in lots of trouble. heh.

P.S. It's going how it's going. :(

[vashti]

Well, I kinda wanted help for my side.

What do you mean? You want us to tell you how to make her want to live with you more than her sister? Wouldn't it be more meaningful if she prefered to do this on her own?

So you say "her life will be horrible" whatever,

No one said that. Stop exaggerating.

nice to think about other people, but what about me, man?

What she wants or doesn't want is equally important to what you want. You wishes do not override hers, and she is allowed to act in her own best interest without your approval.

Really, why don't you just find another roommate or get a place on your own? It is a great opportunity for you to gain some independence.

And yeah, I am sensitive, which gets me in lots of trouble. heh.

You should work on that.

[Affectedly Shy]

You're a girl, aren't you? I can tell, because you won't budge on defending her. lol.

I should work on not being sensitive? What happened to girls liking that quality? ;) (Yeah, it's actually "sensitive to her" that they like.)

I don't know. You make me rather angry (in a "this is just the internet" kind of way). Reiterating your stance doesn't help me (I heard it the first time), especially when I keep requesting alternative responses. Or whatever. So yeah, forget I ever posted this thread. *sigh*

[vashti]

ha! You want some alternative advice? I am guessing the reason you didn't get any because people probably figured clynn and I were on the right path. But if you want to hear a different answer, here you go:

I think you should MAKE her live with you. Why don't you just show up at her door and demand she come with you? You can tie her up and take her hostage, throw her in your car, and pay a few guys to come and pack her stuff up and move it for you. If she objects, you can kick her @ss.

Or, you can cry like a girl and beg her to take you instead. That would be impressive. She would REALLY want you then. There is nothing we girls find more attractive than whiny guys.

[mini696]

You dont have a choice... In the end it is her decision. I would be angry, but that would be MY problem not hers. I would say I am dissapointed, but I can see it would be OK in the long run.

If she was ready to move out with you she wouldnt even think twice about it.

Are you both living alone, with parents or firends? Have both of you lived away from home at all?