Why do girls with bfs don't tell other guys they have bfs?

[ed604]

So there's this really attractive girl who I asked for her number. She gave it to me and I was like this is great! I'm single right now so I want to have relationship. We've been talking for about 2 weeks now. Our conversations are good and we're learning about each other: where we work, what do you want to do in school, etc. Everything seems awesome. I make her laugh sometimes and I feel a good vibe with her. I asked her if she wants to go out and eat sometimes. She said yes to me. So I'm thinking damn this is great. And then came today and I asked her what is she up to? She said, "I'm just chilling with my bf and my cousin." I was shocked! I thought she was single this whole time. I know it is a mistake on my part for not asking if she was single in the beginning, but why didn't she just tell me she had a bf when I asked for her number or even shortly after that?

[Yggdrasil]

You think you'll get more replies by posting this allover the place?

[Doc Durian]

So there's this really attractive girl who I asked for her number. She gave it to me and I was like this is great! I'm single right now so I want to have relationship. We've been talking for about 2 weeks now. Our conversations are good and we're learning about each other: where we work, what do you want to do in school, etc. Everything seems awesome. I make her laugh sometimes and I feel a good vibe with her. I asked her if she wants to go out and eat sometimes. She said yes to me. So I'm thinking damn this is great. And then came today and I asked her what is she up to? She said, "I'm just chilling with my bf and my cousin." I was shocked! I thought she was single this whole time. I know it is a mistake on my part for not asking if she was single in the beginning, but why didn't she just tell me she had a bf when I asked for her number or even shortly after that?

Maybe she's just blowing you off?

[ed604]

Maybe she's just blowing you off?

What do you mean by blowing me off?

[Doc Durian]

She may or may not have a boyfriend. That she chooses to tell you now implies that she doesn't give a shit about someone else's feelings or the concept of accountability for her previous words/actions.

Which means, she's either a super self centred bitch with issues, or she's merely giving you the flick in a cuntish manner befitting of a super self centred bitch.

Best way to deal with her?

Refuse any and all contact and don't explain why. In fact, don't say or do another thing towards her.

Leave her to her own devices. She shouldn't be breeding.

[lizzy_09]

First, it doesn't mean that when a lady has a BF, she can't have friends. However, her approach was quiet wrong since you've already given some hints and signs that your interested in her and she shouldn't have mislead you. There are lots of possibilities why some girls do that. It can be for the reason that they'd like to compare men in their lives and which one is worthy to be a keeper gets the girl. Another reason could be that she had an argument with her BF and to get back at him, she'd get herself involve with another man. It's just about the same thing as some guys answer of being a 2 timer.

[Doc Durian]

First, it doesn't mean that when a lady has a BF, she can't have friends. However, her approach was quiet wrong since you've already given some hints and signs that your interested in her and she shouldn't have mislead you. There are lots of possibilities why some girls do that. It can be for the reason that they'd like to compare men in their lives and which one is worthy to be a keeper gets the girl. Another reason could be that she had an argument with her BF and to get back at him, she'd get herself involve with another man. It's just about the same thing as some guys answer of being a 2 timer.

You saw what he described. She entered into a romantic situation freely, then pulled a bf out of her arse.

Women can have male friends, and Men can have female friends.

But that's not THIS discussion.

She's playing him. That's the discussion.

[ed604]

First, it doesn't mean that when a lady has a BF, she can't have friends. However, her approach was quiet wrong since you've already given some hints and signs that your interested in her and she shouldn't have mislead you. There are lots of possibilities why some girls do that. It can be for the reason that they'd like to compare men in their lives and which one is worthy to be a keeper gets the girl. Another reason could be that she had an argument with her BF and to get back at him, she'd get herself involve with another man. It's just about the same thing as some guys answer of being a 2 timer.

I totally agree with you! She knows I like her in the things I have been asking her like asking for her number, asking to go out and eat sometime, etc. She should not have mislead me. I think it was a waste of time and effort on both our parts you know? I kinda get the feeling she does like me though.

[ed604]

She may or may not have a boyfriend. That she chooses to tell you now implies that she doesn't give a shit about someone else's feelings or the concept of accountability for her previous words/actions.

Which means, she's either a super self centred bitch with issues, or she's merely giving you the flick in a cuntish manner befitting of a super self centred bitch.

Best way to deal with her?

Refuse any and all contact and don't explain why. In fact, don't say or do another thing towards her.

Leave her to her own devices. She shouldn't be breeding.

I really like your straight up intense swearing opinion! What you say is true she might not have the concept of accountability for her actions which I really dislike about some girls. Those girls really need some teaching cause there are genuinely nice people out there that fall victim to it.

Thanks for your opinions guys! I will keep them in mind.

[ed604]

she might just be messing with your guts with that.you like she wanting to know if you have the gut to go after what you really want. but on the other hand a lady in a relationship is not banned from having male friends that are exciting like you are. she might just like you and its all depends on the signs you have being showing her even if you told her you are looking for a relationship

I know I should've been more clear on myself early on. She should've figured it out though. It would be awesome if your first option is true. I guess time will tell.

[Mish]

Not all people think alike. Some people do and say things which are completely objectionable to others, but it's normal for them. Some of the reasons why she might have done that:
- She just sees you as a friend
- She had problems with her bf before, but not anymore
- Bf only became a bf very recently
- She's doubtful about her relationship

In any case I'm sorry to say, it's not a good idea to pursue this one any further.

[Rinyotsu]

I wish I had an answer to this question. I can't tell you it is much more painful than just rejection (I've faced both multiple times). Rejection is like a bruise to the heart, but rejection because of a boyfriend is like a major fracture. The heart heals like a bone. When it is bruised, I toughens only a little, but healing from a fracture creates more fibers that hold it together, making it harder to open again.

[Cbrider]

Anyone who hides being in a relationship from someone who is CLEARLY making an advance is a huge red flag.

Even if you win her over, would you want to be with someone who would jump ship on a relationship like that? You would be next.

[ed604]

Not all people think alike. Some people do and say things which are completely objectionable to others, but it's normal for them. Some of the reasons why she might have done that:
- She just sees you as a friend
- She had problems with her bf before, but not anymore
- Bf only became a bf very recently
- She's doubtful about her relationship

In any case I'm sorry to say, it's not a good idea to pursue this one any further.

I found out she is with her bf for about 3 years now. And when I ask her where is he now? She replies with like oh dunno I think he's at his place. So I'm kinda thinking she is not too serious with him at the moment.

[ed604]

Anyone who hides being in a relationship from someone who is CLEARLY making an advance is a huge red flag.

Even if you win her over, would you want to be with someone who would jump ship on a relationship like that? You would be next.

Thanks man! I have thought of this as well. I would not want to be that man! She should not be playing games.