year and a half relationship fell apart, need some advice

[Sleepwalker89]

I spent a year and a half with my ex, and that had to be the best year and a half of my life. Everything we did, we did together, there were never any fights, her family loved me and everything was perfect. And then August rolled around and she dumped me out of the blue. We decided to stay friends for a bit, but anyone that's been in this case knows how that turned out. She found a new guy about a month or so ago, and told me that I was getting in her way, that he was jealous. She had to change and I had to, "get away and leave her the hell alone" to put it lightly. So now here I am trying to figure out what I can do to be with her again. My concern is that if I ignore her, I'm never going to hear from her again, due to the fact that she no longer talks to the guy that she dated for 4 years before me. I mean, if she didn't reach back out to someone that she dated for 4 years, why would she reach out to me? I'm lost and confused, and I need some help. Any advice on this is appreciated. I should probably mention that I still stay in contact with her cousins and brother, although I don't know if she's aware of this.

I know nothing about this new guy of hers, except her cousin told me he's boring.

[Creativejeanius]

Did you ask her why she broke up with you sleepwalker? What did she say?

[Sleepwalker89]

I got two different reasons at first. One was she had no time for a relationship, the other was she wasn't happy. The later was the real one.

[RonHH]

This is a hard one for me to be unbiased, this happend to me. I was in the same place you are now. But the truth of it I didn't have a choise, she didn't want me and sent me out into the unknown. I felt so much pain and was so drained I felt I couldn't go on any longer. I was forced into being alone and had to live with it. Family and friends saved me from distruction. What I remember is I had to cut her loose, keep myself busy, and try to take a day at a time. I'm hoping you are handeling it better then I did. But you may have to move along ,,, like it or not it happens. Good luck
By the way I met a very nice person after that and is the love of my life. And I may have missed her if I have not gone through what I did.

[Creativejeanius]

Hate to say it sleepwalker, but I think you are going to have to move on. I found in my experiences that usually when a girl says she wants to end it she means it. Although it may have seemed out of the blue to you, she was probably unhappy for a long time. Do you think that you would be able to make her happy if you guys gave it another shot? I think that even if you were to get back together, there will olny be more problems down the road. What makes you trust in the fact that she wont do this again? Also if you try to contact her now, it will probably jsut push her further away.

I know how hard it is to try to live without someone you cared very much about. I am going through it now. I was in a relationship for 7 years that recently ended. I described it in a post if you want to read all the details. But every time we broke up and got back together it was just delaying the inevitable and each time got worse and worse. It takes two to make a relationship work. Don't try to force it. Like Ron said, if you don't let this go you could be missing out on something great.

[Sleepwalker89]

Oi...I'm just so confused at this point. I'm being told 50 million different things from different people. Some people tell me she'll come back someday, some people tell me forget her..Jesus Christ >_> Guess It's gonna end up being the later for now.

[RonHH]

Please understand,, there is no one person that can fix this for you. We tell you what we have gone through and what the outcome was. So there is no Golden answer.
What works for one doesn't always work for the next. We just want you know that most of us has gone through it, and if we can help we will sure try.

[Primo]

When someone tells you to get away and leave them alone, you best do it. Sounds like a bitter pill to swallow Sleepwalker, but you're going to have to walk away. "If" she contacts you again down the road, you can sort your feelings out then.

[Sleepwalker89]

When someone tells you to get away and leave them alone, you best do it. Sounds like a bitter pill to swallow Sleepwalker, but you're going to have to walk away. "If" she contacts you again down the road, you can sort your feelings out then.

Seems like this is gonna be the answer, then.

[Primo]

Nothing else to do brotha...the good part of that is there's tons of adorable single women out there and now you can take a good sampling :-)