Ok soldier, slow down. I'm not going to bullshit you and tell you that everything is going to be ok and to just calm down. Right now, you don't want to hear that.
But what you do need to hear is that this is all part of life. As absolutely gut wrenching as this period of time is for you right now, you have to calm yourself down a little bit. You are heading towards a cliff that you cannot come back from if you throw yourself off. Stop thinking aboug how horrible life is, and considering whether or not ending your life would make things better. It wont.
I understand that you love her. That this was a great relationship. That now, because of all of the bullshit that you have been out through, now you have to deal with this crap. You are better than this. You are better than her family, and you are definitely better than losing your mind over a woman.
Look, most of us here, if not all of us have been down this road at least once. Absolutely no human being in this world is worth the causing of such pain and agony. As great and wonderful as she is, you have to realize that nothing in this world is finite. What I mean by that, is that sadly, relationships fade. But guess what, so do wounds and pain and hurt.
We never totally "get over it". How we deal with these kinds of situations is what make us who we are. Don't let pain and anguish consume you to the point where you cease to be. No woman is worth that. And as much as you love her, guess what. She isn't worth it either.
Slow down. Calm down. Go outside for awhile. Take some time off from work. No matter what you do, don't think about how shitty life is now, think about what you are going to do to get past it. The weak ones are the ones who feel stranded the rest of their lives and never move on. You are a fighter. You have to fight through all the hard times and the sadness. I know you can do it, we all have.
That is the first step.
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