tough intimacy issues...

[sunnybunny8212]

hmm... my bf and i have been dating for a year now
but our sex life is.... eh so so...

he was a virgin when we met, and so like idk ive tried to do things to make
"us" exciting in bed...

i wish it was more exciting, and rougher [short of better words lol]
and i don't know why, but its like after a while of intercourse with him...
i don't feel anything...

ive tried reading about it, ive tried making the moment, ive tried
different positions, EVERYTHING.

he's kinda not what i really want in bed.. its a wee bit dull kinda..
and he doesn't last that long, or cant go again.

any suggestions...?
is there something im missing...?

[VincenzoG91]

When my girlfriend wanted me to improve my oral technique, she found some porn that demonstrated what she was talking about and had me watch it with her while making some helpful remarks. We had some great sex that weekend, and overall things were better after that.

[girl68]

Vince's suggestiong is only good if he's trying and wants to change. If your bf is trying hard, and knows you'd like a little more excitement in bed try that. If he's anything like my ex he's boring, one minute man forever and doesn't give a damn to try to improve it will never work, no matter how much you read.

[Kaius]

This is sexual incompatibility. You think you can still love him without sexual excitement, but in the long run it will ruin the relationship.
You need someone who satisfies you emotionally as well as sexually. Why prolong the frustration? Some guys are boring in bed,
and they are great with women who are not so adventurous.

Case and point: My ex-wife was so incompatible with me in the bedroom, I often just leave in the middle. She wanted it missionary only, but she would not even bend her knees at all....completely stiff straight.
She would always be in pain seems like. I am average size so i dont think it should hurt when she's lubed. I seriously HATED having sex with her, so I stopped.

[sunnybunny8212]

This is sexual incompatibility. You think you can still love him without sexual excitement, but in the long run it will ruin the relationship.
You need someone who satisfies you emotionally as well as sexually. Why prolong the frustration? Some guys are boring in bed,
and they are great with women who are not so adventurous.

Case and point: My ex-wife was so incompatible with me in the bedroom, I often just leave in the middle. She wanted it missionary only, but she would not even bend her knees at all....completely stiff straight.
She would always be in pain seems like. I am average size so i dont think it should hurt when she's lubed. I seriously HATED having sex with her, so I stopped.

I'm so sorry that sounds horrible.
I mean.... I know for a fact sex isn't
everything, but it's a big portion and at the
same time I don't want it to
ruin us at the same time...
I suppose I'll take different measures.

Thanks A bunch <3

[Kaius]

Before I got married, I was involved with 2 women in college, and the sex was overall very good. Then I met my ex-wife, who was a virgin, and we got married very soon after we met.
Sex was never good....it was never even okay....it was just hurtfully bad. We had 2 children. I felt really depressed, because I loved my family, and I was willing to stick around in a marriage without any sexual connection.
Finally, when ex-wife's inconsiderate mean behaviors began to boil over, I left. I was okay with no sex for 3 years (and bad/no-existent sex for 9 years before that), but I was not going to tolerate cruelty.

Now I am with a goddess who is very sexually compatible with me. It makes a world of difference...which I never imagined possible.

[sunnybunny8212]

Before I got married, I was involved with 2 women in college, and the sex was overall very good. Then I met my ex-wife, who was a virgin, and we got married very soon after we met.
Sex was never good....it was never even okay....it was just hurtfully bad. We had 2 children. I felt really depressed, because I loved my family, and I was willing to stick around in a marriage without any sexual connection.
Finally, when ex-wife's inconsiderate mean behaviors began to boil over, I left. I was okay with no sex for 3 years (and bad/no-existent sex for 9 years before that), but I was not going to tolerate cruelty.

Now I am with a goddess who is very sexually compatible with me. It makes a world of difference...which I never imagined possible.

do you think theres a way that we can work through it...?
id like to learn with him too... i love him deeply so i also don't wanna make it seem im going to leave him because
he's not the most experienced in bed...
i just think its also kinda weird because i took his virginity as well...
isn't there something we can do to make it more exciting??


p.s im very happy for you lol