My "Guy", Needs Time to Make Sure We are Right?

[jools09]

My Boyfriend and I had been dating for 2 years, when I went through a trauma after being at a club. He lives in another town and I was out with my friends. I was taken advantage of and my whole world was rocked. I was going through some really hard times, and had to deal with cops and everything. He was trying to be supportive, but I had so much going through my mind.
We had been having a few troublesome months before becoming distant and not communicating well, but we are still in love.
After we got in some heated arguments about what was going on and how I was handling things we broke up, with him saying that he didn't know if he could trust me and he was very confused.
I was very hurt and wanted so much to be with him and have him support me.
I went home to my parents house for a week and during this time he wanted to try it again, and he wanted to try and support me.
Everything was so fresh in my mind, the trauma and hurt, I didn't know what to do.
Recently we have been talking and he has come and visited me a couple weekends. I have gotten therapy at his urging to work through alot of issues, and I want nothing more than to work things out and control my life.
I want to have kids with him and marry him, he is the love of my life.
What he is saying, is that he thinks we need a little more time apart, since my emotional roller coaster makes him think that I might not know what I want, or I might not be happy with him. He says things like he loves me and cares for me and does not want to say that we won't be together again.
WHAT DOES THIS ACTUALLY MEAN?
I love him, he loves me.. why can't we be together now? I am so happy with him and want to better myself for him.
Please Help!

[Lite]

It sounds like he needs therapy and counseling of his own to help him through your difficult time.

It's good that you're getting therapy, and that you're trying to get better. However you need to really doing all of that for you, not because you want to save your relationship.

You've been through something traumatic, and this is your time to ask others for help and support. For you to take the time and put in the effort to recover from it.

If people knew up front the real trauma and tribulations they would have to deal with in marriage... Most people would never go through with it. He gets to see that up front, and he's concerned. Rightfully so.

It doesn't get better than when you're dating. So if it's difficult now, it will be more difficult when you're married.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but it sounds like you're having a rough time and not doing the things that you need to do for you to be OK with your life and recover from what happened.

He's giving you the chance to do that without killing the relationship. Maybe you should take it.