Dating Dilemma: 2 Girls!

[laxar]

Hi, I'm Will, (17/M/NZ)
I go to an all-guys school and there are these two girls (18) who both live at an all-girls college in my area. They aren't really friends wih each other, nor are they enemies. They sometimes go out together with mutual friends (this is how I met them) but I think girl 1 is a bit jealous of girl 2.

Anyway, one of them (girl 1) is really into me and I have probably led her on a bit (I can't help it, that's just how I am) and we have kissed & held hands a bit (she started it, but I didn't stop her). But I am more interested in girl 2. Girl 2 is more attractive, she seems to like me and I am 95% sure she is single, but we have only met once. I don't have girl 2's cell number, and the only way I can really access her is through girl 1 (who probably thinks we are going out now) or possibly through another mutual friend. (both methods will arouse suspicion and could fail and mean no girls at all for me!). My problem is that I want to go out with girl 2, but I need a way to:

• A) get to her, and
• B) not upset girl 1 too much

I know that, being women they and their friends (who all know me) will talk etc. and this is likely to cause a fight between them and possibly me too so I will have to be really careful..
I don't want to blow this, as being in an all-guys school I don't get a lot of opportunities like this. Maybe I need to arrange some time with girl 1 and encourage her to bring girl 2 along or something..

Any advice/comments would be greatly appreciated,
Thanks,
Will

[blue]

let girl # 1 know that you are not intrested in her in a relationship kinda way, and that it would be nice if you can remain friends.

girl# 2 i would go through the other mutaul friend get her # ask her out. yeah this may cause a little bit of a reaction the sh*# may hit the fan but it will all blow over.

i was htinking just now though and maybe u should be completley honest with girl #1

[sfalexi]

Boy does THIS sound familiar . . . . .

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=4130[/url]

[blue]

yup that helps!

[sfalexi]

First tell girl #1 that you like her, but aren't interested in a relationship with her. Nothing against her, but you have someone else on your mind. Then have the OTHER mutual friend contact girl #2.

Worst comes to worst, they both decide that they're not gonna date you. In which case you take some time and eventually realize that there are more than 2 girls in this world.

In short, go for the one that you are more interested in. It's no big deal if you end up with nothing because, to coin a cliche, "There ARE other fish in the sea". But you don't want to end up with the girl you're only "slightly" into just cause you know she's more of a sure thing. Go for the gold, my friend.

Rod Steele

[laxar]

Hey blue and sfalexi, thanks, you have been very helpful.. looks like the same thing happened to you sfalexi!

I can probably get girl 2's number from the mutual friend... probably best to do this first?
The hardest part is definitely gonna be breaking it to Girl 1. I should do it in person, not phone or text right?.. I know i would hate it if it happened to me!!

After getting the # and then breaking it to girl 1, how long do you think I should wait before asking out girl 2??

[sfalexi]

[QUOTE=laxar]The hardest part is definitely gonna be breaking it to Girl 1. I should do it in person, not phone or text right?.. I know i would hate it if it happened to me!![QUOTE]Do it in person. Pull her aside one day and just be like, "Listen, I just want to make it clear that I like you, but as a friend. I'm not sure what you think about me, but I realize that we have kissed a few times and held hands, but I'm just saying please not to read too much into it."

SOmething like that. Sugar coat it more if you need to.

As for how long to wait, that's a tough one. I'd say play it out a little more. Flirt a little more with the other one, make sure she gets more interested in you and then ask for the number directly. This will give it a little time (since you're flirting and gaining her interest) inbetween and in the meantime she'll hopefully be that much more into you. That's MY advice (which maybe should be thought about, but not taken right away)

Rod Steele

[han]

I GOT IT!!! GET a Girl 3 that they don't know and you don't have to worry about it.

Honestly is your ally, use it with girl #1 be nice to her and be understandable if she doesn't react like you may like her to react but that way you can ask her to continue to be her friend and maybe she will help you get girl 2 and that way she won't start stories behind your back for Girl 2.

If it gets tough... man dunno what to say... just tell them your religion requires you to have 2 women

[laxar]

"just tell them your religion requires you to have 2 women"
hahahaha that is a classic!

Yeah, I'll tell girl 1 soon, & try to stay friends. Then chill for a while, maybe find a girl 3, and keep girl 2 as a long-term goal. That way its not so harsh on girl 1, and nothing gets rushed with girl 2. I promise myself I'll get her eventually!

thanks everyone

[han]

Just be honest and go for it before she finds someone who is also promising himself the same thing than you but with less complications.

[han]

It happened to me dude! I had this girl in sight and we had talked and flirt a little but I waited too long... and precisely the day I was going to ask her out... she had a party... next day, she had a boyfriend!! See what I mean? got to be honest but bold or you will go bald!! ;0)

[sfalexi]

and precisely the day I was going to ask her out... she had a party... next day, she had a boyfriend!!

That to me sounds wierd. I've always been the "stage" dater. I don't understand how hooking up with a guy ONCE constitutes him as a 'boyfriend'. I think I'll start a new thread on it . . .