Insecure/Jealous which one??

[Lucy013]

I need some much needed advice...I will try to make this short..
I have lived a very sheltered life..I was abused by my father, I married when I was 17 to get out of the house. I was married for 22 years and then divorced..I am now remarried and having some trust issues with my new husband. (I am his thrid marriage) It doesn't matter if he tells me that he will not cheat, lie, or keep things from me. I do not trust him. He hasn't given me a reason to think otherwise. I think he is a flirt and even his ex has said the same thing.

I will give you a for instance...last night, my brother and sister in law came over to our house, she barely acknowledged me, then went straight to my husband and ask him if he wanted a drink of her wine. Of course he said YES and drank it, she looked at my face and then said oh you can have a drink. I just said NO. I have asked my sister in law to stop texting him, emailing calling him etc. that it really does upset me. She says ok then does it anyway and hides the (TO) section if she sends me the same email..(which she doesn't anymore)

We also work together and are in the same office..The whole facility is women. There are 4 guys maybe in the whole facility. They all have to come to my husband for advice..He is the HR manager.

I know this is childish.I get told this all the time, but I always say this goes back to my upbringing. All three of them (brother, sister in law) have been in the military and have traveled everywhere and they have things in common and they tell me to just get over it.

If anyone has any good adivce, please let me know..

[girl68]

You need therpy there are many issues with you mostly stemming from your childhood- I suggest you haven't gotten over any of it.

[Raze]

I have lived a very sheltered life..I was abused by my father, I married when I was 17 to get out of the house.

You married just so you could escape from your father. You married for the wrong reasons. You marry someone because you love them. You don't marry someone just to get out of the house. Basically, you're giving me the impression that you would marry anyone.

I was married for 22 years and then divorced..I am now remarried and having some trust issues with my new husband. (I am his thrid marriage) It doesn't matter if he tells me that he will not cheat, lie, or keep things from me. I do not trust him. He hasn't given me a reason to think otherwise. I think he is a flirt and even his ex has said the same thing.

You're entering a relationship and you just don't trust the person you are with. How does a relationship work if there is no trust? I don't think you should have a relationship right now. You need to see a psychiatrist. You're paranoid of everyone.

I will give you a for instance...last night, my brother and sister in law came over to our house, she barely acknowledged me, then went straight to my husband and ask him if he wanted a drink of her wine. Of course he said YES and drank it, she looked at my face and then said oh you can have a drink. I just said NO. I have asked my sister in law to stop texting him, emailing calling him etc. that it really does upset me. She says ok then does it anyway and hides the (TO) section if she sends me the same email..(which she doesn't anymore)

Ok, it's his sister? Why the hell are you worried about this? Are you worried that he will sleep with his sister? Get ****in real, dude!

We also work together and are in the same office..The whole facility is women. There are 4 guys maybe in the whole facility. They all have to come to my husband for advice..He is the HR manager.

I know this is childish.I get told this all the time, but I always say this goes back to my upbringing. All three of them (brother, sister in law) have been in the military and have traveled everywhere and they have things in common and they tell me to just get over it.

I agree that you should just get over it. In my opinion, I think you have a mental illness. My money is that you have some personality disorder that you need treatment for.. fast! See a psychiatrist. You aren't ready for a relationship. That's why your marriages keep failing.

[lahnnabell]

Raze, she means her brother's wife, which is her sister-in-law. Meaning that the sister-in-law is in no way related to her husband. Definitely cause for concern.

[Lucy013]

The reason that I am upset jealous, is she says one thing and does another. At a holiday get together my sister in law was sitting on my ex-husband's lap. She has ENORMOUS boobs and a low top. I asked her to get off his lap..but he was enjoying it. My mother came around the corner and she jumped right up. If it happened once it will happen again.

I do have major trust issues, but I think that if I get upset with something I see or do not understand what I am seeing, then I should be able to go to my new husband (3 months) and say explain without him getting upset and telling me I need to grow up and get out of Jr. High.