Help? I'm miserable

[UrbanGypsy]

So, as many of these postings begin, there's this guy, we'll call him T...
I am in love with him. Madly, I haven't really talked to or seen him in about a year, still can't get him off my mind, have dreams about him all the time, he is everything I've ever wanted ever, type of in love with him.

Problem. He doesn't see me as anything other than a friend. He knows how I feel about him (Not the full extent but he has an idea) but we are still friends and the only reason we are not in communication right now is because I've moved to the other side of the world for school. I'll be back in about a year.

I wish I could get rid of the feelings because it makes it really difficult to be his friend. And I wouldn't give up his friendship for the world. He's an amazing guy.

So I suppose I'm wondering if anyone has advice on how to either:
a. stop my feelings for him so I can be friends with him or
b. change how he feels about me

It doesn't have to be a right now thing. I can wait a few more year but it sucks...

[smackie9]

You can't magically make someone fall for you so choice B is totally out. Your problem is that you are spending your time fantasizing about him, because it feels good to do so, but when reality kicks in that you can't have him, you come down and crash....yes it's a vicious cycle. You need to find activities that make you feel good and happy about yourself to pull your attention away from him. You need to get busy with friends, go out, and spend less time with your thoughts.

[UrbanGypsy]

See, that's just it, I don't think about him very much. I'm very preoccupied with school. And then suddenly, out of the blue, when he hasn't been on my mind for months, I have some crazy vivid dream about him and then I'm miserable for a week or two before I can ignore my feelings again. A month or two later, another dream.

I'm very busy because of school. I don't spend much time just sitting around thinking about him. It's really just these dreams that really throw me for a loop...

[falnangel]

Hmm.. well Gypsy I don't think you should do either of your suggestions to be honest. You can't, really. You can't just stop having feelings for someone, and you certainly can't change his view on you (I assume you mean from friends to more than friends), that's up to fate and time to tell.

Sometimes your subconscious will play on memories, and that's what brings all these feelings fresh to the surface.

I assume you're still young as you're in school right now, so my advice would be to leave it for now, have fun, and when you're finished school and move back, maybe things can progress at that point.

[smackie9]

The brain works in mysterious ways....The reason we dream is to sort through our problems and daily stresses, without it we would all go crazy..... sometimes the messages can be confusing indeed. It's obvious your subconscious is telling you this issue is still unresolved.

A counselor told me this once.....what we can't have is what we desire the most.....