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Thread: New G/F texting EX still, should I be worried

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    New G/F texting EX still, should I be worried

    So seeing this girl for a month. Things could not be better for such a new relationship, everything is going great. Just one problem, she's been recently talking to her ex again, so it makes me wonder is it as good as it appears?

    Not to get into it but, she got a text, it was from him, I happen to glance at the conversation (She has an iPhone so it's all there to see) and curiousity got the best of me. I know that was wrong and I told her so but its over and done with.

    They broke up in Sept, were friends before that according to her, and she hasn't seen him in a couple months. They only dated for about 6 months then broke up. I had to confront her because I was more curious than angry. When I asked she said she couldn't control who said hi and she never talked to him. Of course I asked further knowing they had been talking this week (about 3 dozen texts back and forth) and she finally said yes she was. She said since most of her friends moved (true) she needs someone to talk to now and again (AT this points she showed me her phone to prove it). Most of there texts were late night, but mostly personal stuff, pretty intense not really just random bullshitting. Though one thing, nothing said by either was overly sexual in nature. I trust her enough not to really worry shes going to end up in his bed, though he asked to see her and she declined.

    The thing is a couple texts like "good morning" and "night" etc she always sent me she also sends to him. Not big deal I guess right? She also thru in a *kiss* in one of her texts to him as well.

    Should I just not worry about this? I mean we talked about it, she said she should be more open and that I shouldn't be worried.

    From expierence is this the start of trouble or just being paranoid? In full disclosure I had a long relationship were I was cheated on very early in the relationship, so hence my paranoia I guess. I have a hard time trusting people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SharpieMarker View Post
    So seeing this girl for a month. Things could not be better for such a new relationship, everything is going great. Just one problem, she's been recently talking to her ex again, so it makes me wonder is it as good as it appears?

    Not to get into it but, she got a text, it was from him, I happen to glance at the conversation (She has an iPhone so it's all there to see) and curiousity got the best of me. I know that was wrong and I told her so but its over and done with.

    They broke up in Sept, were friends before that according to her, and she hasn't seen him in a couple months. They only dated for about 6 months then broke up. I had to confront her because I was more curious than angry. When I asked she said she couldn't control who said hi and she never talked to him. Of course I asked further knowing they had been talking this week (about 3 dozen texts back and forth) and she finally said yes she was. She said since most of her friends moved (true) she needs someone to talk to now and again (AT this points she showed me her phone to prove it). Most of there texts were late night, but mostly personal stuff, pretty intense not really just random bullshitting. Though one thing, nothing said by either was overly sexual in nature. I trust her enough not to really worry shes going to end up in his bed, though he asked to see her and she declined.

    The thing is a couple texts like "good morning" and "night" etc she always sent me she also sends to him. Not big deal I guess right? She also thru in a *kiss* in one of her texts to him as well.

    Should I just not worry about this? I mean we talked about it, she said she should be more open and that I shouldn't be worried.

    From expierence is this the start of trouble or just being paranoid? In full disclosure I had a long relationship were I was cheated on very early in the relationship, so hence my paranoia I guess. I have a hard time trusting people.
    Orange flag, dude. Not quite a RED one yet, but definitely orange.

    What I mean by that is, she CLEARLY LIED to you until you kept pressing for the truth.

    If she STARTS OFF lying, it can be a MISTAKE to take her too seriously.

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    Thanks NBT,

    I felt the same way, when she kept saying no. She only told me about it when I admitted I had saw it on her phone. I can understand her reasons, she really doesn't have any close friends near home anymore, and its someone she was friend with before they dated. It still bothers me though, I'm not jealous or even worried of cheating. Just felt like I lost some early trust from the whole thing.

    Plus him asking to see her means he clearly has different intentions. I don't know him so I can't really approach him or I would.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SharpieMarker View Post
    Thanks NBT,

    I felt the same way, when she kept saying no. She only told me about it when I admitted I had saw it on her phone. I can understand her reasons, she really doesn't have any close friends near home anymore, and its someone she was friend with before they dated. It still bothers me though, I'm not jealous or even worried of cheating. Just felt like I lost some early trust from the whole thing.

    Plus him asking to see her means he clearly has different intentions. I don't know him so I can't really approach him or I would.
    As it should.

    Of course you can understand her wanting to talk to/text one of her friends, but that's no excuse for LYING about it.

    After all, had she been texting "SARAH" like that, there'd be no need to hide it. But since it's JOHNNY, she wants to keep it a SECRET.

    That's an orange flag, guy. Keep your eyes open ok? That's all I'll say, unless you need some more advice.

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    Do you know the circumstances of their relationship and breakup? If he broke up with her and she still wanted him back after then that may not be good, especially when you throw in her lying.
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    I would keep an eye on her, it seems suspicious. Text your ex's in front of her and see what she does. She's probably still in love with the guy. Better yet call an ex and talk to her in front of your girlfriend if she doesn't get upset then she probably isn't in love with you.
    I dunno maybe I'm wrong, this is free advice so take it for what its worth

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    **Keep IT Real Moment**

    Ok, ther's an ex involved and ther's lying involved. If it's so damn innocent then what the need for lying about it? 1 month into the relationship and she's already lying to you about text messages. I dont mean to make you paranoid but you gotta see this for what it is. I'de reccomend you just keep your eyes wide open bro. Dont get played, and I hope it all works out for you man.

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    Break it off with her... she doesnt sound relationship worthy at all, sorry

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    I think that your turning the whole thing into something too complicated, your relationship is already over, you just don't realize it yet. But if you still want to try and be with her, the only thing left for you to do is to tell her to choose between you and him. What? its simple. Either he stay`s, or you go. Their not just friends and you know it. Oh I know, there are a few circumstances involved, they have a history together, well, that`s great, but it has nothing to do with you nor should you be lectured about it. I say, give her an ultimatum. Out with the old, and in with the new. If she can`t deal (and she probably cant) then you need to find yourself someone else (You probably should).
    Last edited by Caleb; 16-06-10 at 10:35 PM.

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    The lying is the real problem. If she lies about this, what else will she lie about? Drop her and find someone honest.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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