I feel like I'm a nobody...plz help someone

[MJCuevasII]

Well, to start off things, I used to have a girlfriend who I fell in love with. She was my first girlfriend ever, so that makes her the first for everything. It lasted 4 months and 5 days. The reason it ended was of how I felt about her parents. They always tended to make me mad, so I'd say something to my girlfriend (Tammy). At one point, I told her that I wanted to stay away from them. She was sad, but was willing to accept that. As time went on, I recently just blew up. I went to Six Flags with Tammy and some friends, but when it time to leave, I had to drive home by myself because Tammy's mom said that I drove to fast and that she doesn't feel comfortable. When I got home, I was SO mad. I talked to Tammy on the internet, and I just exploded. I was talking about how much I hated her parents and that I wanted them gone or dead or whatever. This isn't the first time I've had problems with them either. She was SHOCKED! We didn't really talk the next day, but then tells me that we can't be together. At school...I stayed away from her, but at lunch, I was by myself and she came up to me and gave me a note, saying that we can't go on anymore, and that she's sorry it ended this way. I cried...I'm an 18 year old guy who cried because of this. The whole day I was trying to get her back, until the night time. I was going to go to her place and ask for forgiveness from her parents because I was so mean. Tammy told me I couldn't, because I would jut be yelled at. After crying for so much while talking to Tammy on the phone, her dad talked to me, and just told me to stay away from her, and their family. If I get close to them, he says that he'll press charges and will put me in jail. I tried talking to him, but he wouldn't listen, and when I did...it meant nothing. He hung up after a while and today at school, I felt miserable. Tammy acts like nothing has happened, smiles just like always, and ignores me, like she doesn't even know me. Not only did I lose the love of my life, I lost a lot of friends, so I'll be a loner at school now during lunch. I'm depressed and devistated. I can't get over this. I've been reading onw how to get over a relationship, but they all say the same. I don't have friends to go to, or no one to talk to. It's all over, and I just hate it. She was the first girl in my life who has told me that they loved me...and meant it too. I remember that day, but it all came to an end. She wanted me to change, but I guess I never did, even though I know I did, she just didn't realize it. I was a new person because of her, but now that I've lost her completely, even as a friend, I'm a nobody and I feel like I'm just garbage to anyone.

Someone, please help me go through this. I know it's sad posting something like this. I'm sure there'll be people making fun of me or something, calling me a cry baby, but Tammy meant the world to me. I need advice on what to do now. I need someone to talk to. I just hope there's someone in these forums who's willing to say something, and actually give me some help.

[sweetkiss4one]

There really isn't too much you can do now. What you did was done and the end result wasn't exactly what you wanted it to be, but it's what you received. All I can say is, I hope you learned something from this situation.

My boyfriend, when we started dating, didn't like my parents. That caused him to leave me hanging on all certain events and when he'd say he was coming to visit. After being together for almost two years, he has came to realize that he doesn't have to like my parents, but if he wants to be with me, he had to tolerate them and the things they do.The good thing is that they are getting a long a lot better now!

So don't beat yourself up over it. Continue with your life and move on. After what happened you already know that you won't be getting her back.

[Junsui]

Hmmm..There isn't anything you can do, but move on and stop worrying about her. Are you a violent person?

[shh!]

It sounds like you have some anger issues which you might want to get some help with before you do something crazy, but about the girl:

Her parents have loved and cared for her for her ENTIRE LIFE. They have invested all their hopes, dreams, money, blood, sweat and tears in to her and her well-being. Why should it be okay that some guy comes around after 4 months and doesn't care for them and doesn't feel a need to make nice with them? And why should it be okay for the parents to put this girl they have invested so much into in a car with a boy that doesn't drive responsibly?

[gHEXjt]

I don't understand why, no matter what kind of disagreements you had with them, that you would say you want them dead. That's just out of line, and was probably the final straw for her. Just don't act like that in the next relationship you're in.

[Tone]

Or don't.


______________

[Rosebud]

You can't do anythign at this point except to look back and realize your mistakes. I can tell you, you probably haven't changed like you think you have and the reason you feel you have is because you realized you were in the wrong and were trying to be nice to get her back. The things you said were wrong and inappropriate, and probably hurt her a lot. Her parents have every right to do what they did, and you ahve to respect that.

Leave her alone and learn from your mistakes. Just do things to get your mind off things and it will get easier.

[Junsui]

I don't understand why, no matter what kind of disagreements you had with them, that you would say you want them dead. That's just out of line, and was probably the final straw for her. Just don't act like that in the next relationship you're in.

Yeah, it makes me think of that 18 year old guy who killed his 14 year old gf's parents.

[Reverb]

Hopefully this will teach you a lesson about self control. Had you been able to keep your temper, you wouldn't be in this situation. As a parent I wouldn't want anyone with a short fuse like that dating my daughter either. Too much crazy !sht happening these days. You've got to learn to let it slide off you when people give you crap, or you'll never get anywhere. Don't sweat the small stuff.

[mhussain]

We all make mistakes and we all pay a price.

lets get some things out of the way.

1. you say that its sad for you to post here
its not.

2. you call yourself a cry-baby
you are not. you will be surprised at how older people, people with more "wisdom" weep in situations like yours

3. were you wrong in saying what you did
unfortunately, yes.

mate, what happened , happened and there is no way on earth you can get reverse time. i am sorry for what you are undergoing through right now. 18 is a fickle age and at 18 even your shadow hates you and betrays you if it could.

she was your first love and it ended because of something you felt. know now that anger controlled is far wiser.

next time, oh yes my friend, God willing there will be a next time, talk to her first before going medieval on her.

you say that you are friendless now. learn to like yourself and people will only then like you. you must be at peace with yourself alone, only then will others like your company.

you say that she is all right now, behaving as if nothing happened between you too. all i can say is that it makes it easier for her. dont grudge her her happiness if you truly love her.

hope and patience is all i advise, along with a request to use paragraphing more often

just remember, if you dont learn from you mistakes, life will make you suffer even more.

take care my friend

Hussain

[MJCuevasII]

Thanks guys for your advice. It's been 6 days since this has happened, and 7 days since I've said the things I did about her parents. Knowing me, I would never hurt someone and I have no history of that. I've never done drugs, smoked, drank, or stolen from anyone. Yesterday though, Tammy wanted to talk to me, and all it was, was that she can't be with me, like she said a million other times. She wanted to be at least "aquantances," but I'm not sure how that will work out if she can't get near me. She says that she forgives me for what I did, but the only reason she isn't stepping up for me, or saying something different, is because her parents are making her think that I AM a bad person, and I WILL kill someone. Yeah, they can love her and everything, but only Tammy knows how I am, but even then, she doesn't know everything. Only I know myself, and only I can tell people who I really am. At this point though, I can say anything, and she still won't believe me, only because her parents are convincing her not to.

On top of this, I've been sick for the past 5 days and have thrown up the past 4 days. I'm going to the doctors, hopefully today for my stomach. I went to a similar appointment last year, and I ended up in counseling. I hope I don't go again, because I don't have the time for it, and I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be.

As far as making friends, it's hard to make friends because now being in the 12th grade, everyone in school already has their friends that they're going to settle with. VERY rarely does anyone make a new friend.

It's time like these when you start to realized what you had at one point, and what you lost in a matter of seconds. I really miss the good times, and I'm afraid that I won't get those back. She isn't a bad person, and I love her more than anything. She did tell me that I might someone better than her, but the thing is that I don't want anyone else. Knowing how much of a good person she really is, it's hard to picture myself with someone that can't even compare to her. The number one thing that won't leave my mind though, is picturing her with another guy. I have a feeling, that very soon, within a month or two, she'll be with someone else. I can't handle seeing her with someone else. I'm not going to know what to do......

[Junsui]

You should be going to college soon where you can make all new friends. I know it's tough, but it will get better with time.

[ecm]

My advice.

Work on what may be an anger issue.

You don't like someone's parents? That is nearly an impossible thing to overcome in a relationship.

First love is always really tough to get over. Don't be afraid to cry and to grieve, it's normal. Just don't let it control you!

My advice on getting over it and making friends. Get involved and get active. Take karate, sign up for an art class, join a basketball rec league, volunteer -- basically, do things that take your time, occupy your mind and let you meet folks. You'll be surprised at how quickly you'll make new friends and how much more quickly you'll get over her.

And the tough thing about first loves? I'm 36 and me and my "first love" broke up when I was 17. I don't long for her anymore, but I do think about her. About 3 years ago, I ran into her. Yes, there was a slight flutter and we both smiled -- I think at some fond memories -- but it wasn't love anymore, and I don't want her back.

Good luck!

[jaye]

friend!!!
life will take you through some up and downs but learning from them not doing the samething again makes you a better person you should be feeling like it cus thats normal. but time will change things. even on LF, well i am fairly new here but some people like Only-virgins,RoseBud,shh,Lloyd95 and few others have made fun of me.
some made fun of me because they obviously have no respect for me or anyother some made fun of me cus they liked me.
You have to learn ("Past you can not change, what said is said but future is what you should be worried about")

[cheazypeaz]

dude i got dumped for similiar reasons, i saw her with another guy the other week, turns out she had been within him since 2 weeks after we broke up, i just laughed at his sorry ass... maybe im a bit of a 'shit' but at the end of the day have some self respect, if she wants to be with someone else, its her loss not yours. it was my first girl, its hard, i still think about her 3 months down the line, but well, i have a date kinda thing this week with a sexy girl i met in a nighclub a few times whooo
rock on man, things can only get BETTER
spike