Update on my seemingly wonderful boyfriend

[Katty]

So I've posted some things a while ago concerning my relationship, asking for advice. I knew something wasn't right, that's why I decided to join this forum in the first place. My boyfriend went out of state to visit his friends and family for the holidays. His trip was to last a month, and he was supposed to return today. He only called me 2 times during his stay there. If you really like someone, wouldn't you call them to at least see how they're doing??? So, I got sick of the bullshit and decided to try to get into his email. I had every right to do it considering the circumstances. I figured out his password and read some pretty disgusting things. He never deleted anything over the course of the year! He cheated on me with 3 people last year, he was sleeping with a girl out there, and fooling around with a guy as well!! I never thought he was that type, but I knew he was cheating on me. All of the signs were there, I just really tried hard to trust him because I loved him so much.
I am disgusted and extremely hurt. I haven't been normal for the last 2 weeks. I treated him like gold! I really didn't deserve this. No one deserves to be cheated on. It's the worst thing you can do to someone. I'll never trust anyone again. I'm just going to grow to become an old cat lady. No more relationships for me I'm done.

[michaelmorgan]

Katty...take some time to cool off.
The last thing I want you to experience is to run away from any future relationships. You have met only one man in millions of us out there. Give the rest of us a decent shot, will you?
You were hurt because a) you got involved with a jerk + b) you allowed him to be a jerk.

It's ok to be hurt, to feel hurt, to feel pain. But these hard times of love should only learn you to treasure it better the next time, not to run away from it your entire life.

[lovesjoyajm]

Personally, I don't think him being distant gives you the right to go into his email, but as it is, it's a good thing you found out so you can get away from him. Just give yourself time to heal, and I'm sure you'll find someone worth your time.

[Ellynn]

Its better you found out now then later. Yeah doesn't it hurt when you go onto someone's account and find out all the shit they have been saying to other people?? That happened with an ex of mine, but he knew I was on his computer, its just that his ex IMed him and I was there and he was in the next room for a moment. Its funny how I found out all this stuff I was blind to for many months. I had always suspected he had a wandering eye, but he called me paranoid when I confronted him. Then, I got my proof. She emailed me the convo's they had on yahoo and how he wanted to get with her again. Yeah, it hurt a lot and he even tried to deny it, but apparantly they were messing around behind my back. sighs.

But, its good you found out when you did. Now just cut him loose and give yourself some time to heal. Then get back out there. There are guys out there(hard to find but its true) that do take a relationship seriously and will want to be with you and only you. Now, its just a matter of finding such a guy.

[misombra]

oh damn. sorry.

[Ellynn]

All I can remember is "fooling around with a guy as well" <shivers> Eesh!

Yeah I would be bitter about that too. Makes you want to question all guys sexuality.

[vashti]

Damn, some of you guys can sure be horny little f*ckers. Katty - get yourself tested for STDs before you move on to another guy. This one was a man-whore.

[misombra]

you know what guys do? they trick you. they act all nice and everything and then when you're comfortable the real them comes out and you find out they're a gay crackhead.

[Katty]

Damn, some of you guys can sure be horny little f*ckers. Katty - get yourself tested for STDs before you move on to another guy. This one was a man-whore.

Yeah, that's definately in the plans. I was clean as of last August. I am very scared. He told me he's only ever been with 2 other people before we started dating! Who knows who else there is that I didn't read about? I'm sure not all of it is in his email. It's going to take a long time to heal. Right now, it feels like it will be impossible to heal. I don't know.

[Gigabitch]

you know what guys do? they trick you. they act all nice and everything and then when you're comfortable the real them comes out and you find out they're a gay crackhead.

Yeah, I totally hate it when that happens.

Katty, you were right to listen to your intuition. You can trust yourself to date again, someday. You won't be a cat lady.

[lesser]

Well.. I don't approve you have read his emails but it's alot worse understanding he's cheated on you.. if this will comfort you - it doesn't hurt less if he tells you the truth
i know you feel like you can't trust anyone now.. but in future things will get better, you'll see

[vashti]

If I hooked up with a gay crackhead, I would start to doubt my abilities to choose men wisely. Maybe you should have your mom or sister help you pick them.

[Gigabitch]

If I hooked up with a gay crackhead, I would start to doubt my abilities to choose men wisely. Maybe you should have your mom or sister help you pick them.

Yeah, or get a gay crackhead to help you- they seem to be able to pick the good ones.

[vashti]

heheh! good point...