what should I do?

[wiseguy89]

Ok so my ex and I have been over for a few months now but we dated for almost 2 years. She broke up with me because of trust issues and our fighting just got out of control. She started dating a new guy after only 2 weeks of breaking up. Anyways she still says she loves me but is not in love with me and always wants to hang out. She talks/texts when she can as well. I am like family to her because I was around for so long I always share that closeness. Ever since she has been dating this new guy she has been cheating on him with me. She sneaks around and lies to him makes up an excuse to get out of the house and comes to me. She lives with him. We kiss, make love hold hands do everything really but she says "you can never tell him or I will never talk to you again" and "i only do it because I am used to you it's not to lead you on."

I still love her so much I want her back. The problem is she lives with this new guy and as she said if I tell him I don't want to lose her forever. What should I do?

[fi123]

Personally i would go no contact, this girl knows that she can snap her fingers and you will be there, and she won't respect you for it. Cut the contact completely, if she tries to contact you just ignore her and tell her you are moving on with your life and want to find a new girlfriend and don't think it's wise staying in contact with her and see how she reacts to that (even if you don't mean it!).

And you say you are like family to her....you mean like a brother maybe?? not sexy i'm afraid she needs to see you in a new light.

[wiseguy89]

Well I tried telling her I can't keep doing it because it's messing with me if you want me be with me and she started crying and said she didn't want me out of her life. I am like family as in an older brother to her little brothers, I go over for dinner help her and lived with her and her family for about a year.

[fi123]

yes but you don't tell her you are cutting contact with her because it is messing you up. You do it because you are taking a stand and are pretending you are moving on with her life. tough shit if she starts crying etc she can't have her cake and eat it. She's got to decide what she wants and she will respect you far more for standing up to her. Girls want a man to be a man not a lily-livered boy who can't take control of his own life. Trust me, i think all women will agree with me on this one.

[wiseguy89]

Do i tell the boyfriend or just leave the situation alone?

[fi123]

I don't think you should have any contact with the boyfriend. If you tell him you have been seeing her it would probably have a negative effect on her feelings for you. It wouldn't show you in a good light and it would be unfair on him as he is an innocent from the sounds of it.

[RdHrshyKss]

cut contact completely. text her and say, "i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore. i need to move on with my life and the only way i can do that is to cut contact. i wish you the best of luck. goodbye." then leave it at that. MOVE ON. this girl is using you. she doesn't know what the hell she wants and doesn't give a rats ass about how this is affecting you. her jumping into bed with another guy after only 2 weeks of being broken up with you is a HUGE red flag. she has dependency issues, which is why she can't let you go. i wouldn't be surprised if she had been cheating on you with this guy before she broke up with you. how would knowing that make you feel about her?

plus she's a cheater, why would you want to be involved with someone who is ok cheating like that. kick her to the curb...she isn't worth your time anymore. she has shown her true colors and they are nothing spectacular at all. she's weak, selfish, and a liar. get rid of her now.

[LuvGuru]

Seems like this girl has it made. She has her boyfriend at home and her do boy in the street. Wise you've got too let this go. You say you guys broke up because of trust issues. This girl has a boyfriend(at home) and is cheating with you yet, you still want her. I understand the heart wants what the hearts wants but, you've got to get pass this one. If you were to get her back with her you dont think she'd cheat on you?....and she makes a power move by telling you, you better not tell her new boyfriend or shes done with you...wow!

Yeah, you need to digg deep and walk away. Not only that but, I would tell her boyfriend. This guy deserves to know. This would also lessen the chances that you'd be able to get back with her.

[RdHrshyKss]

Seems like this girl has it made. She has her boyfriend at home and her do boy in the street. Wise you've got too let this go. You say you guys broke up because of trust issues. This girl has a boyfriend(at home) and is cheating with you yet, you still want her. I understand the heart wants what the hearts wants but, you've got to get pass this one. If you were to get her back with her you dont think she'd cheat on you?....and she makes a power move by telling you, you better not tell her new boyfriend or shes done with you...wow!

Yeah, you need to digg deep and walk away. Not only that but, I would tell her boyfriend. This guy deserves to know. This would also lessen the chances that you'd be able to get back with her.

and would take all the power out of her hands and into yours and her bf's. i don't know if i'd go so far as to tell the bf...you don't know him, he doesn't know you, it would just be really weird. maybe confide in someone that she knows who might say something? i don't know, i'd concentrate on yourself right now...not sabotaging whatever she's got going on with her bf. just end it with her. she really is not worth your time...you deserve someone who isn't a cheat.