30 and newly single

[Disco]

Hi, I thought I'd join this forum because I newly single and I could probably use some relationship advice. Im getting back into dating and at my age I feel like I have to think about things I didnt used to in my 20's.

Well I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years in June, basically because I just couldn't commit to marriage with her. I love her and we were best friends, but I just couldn't do it.

I started seeing another younger girl, 22yrs old, which was a long distance relationship. Turns out she was really immature so I'm not really pursuing that anymore.

I'm back on the dating scene now, and actually I have my first date tonight! She's 20 yrs old and from Ukraine...I know, shes very young too, but I prefer young looking girls!

Anyway, I'm probably gonna be posting questions and advice requests soon because I plan on dating more. I also have another situation I'll need to deal with, but I will post that one up in a separate thread.

Looking forward to getting some good responses from you guys!

Thanks.

[DazdAndConfused]

I would currently think twice about dating a 20 year old and Im 22. Don't think I can help you man and frankly I dont think I want to. Sorry about the long break up. Whats wrong with getting married at 30?

[miSSleepy]

My first bit of advice is to leave the 20 year old alone. What's wrong with you?

[starbuck]

It's contradictory that you would keep dating very young women after you dumped the last one for being immature. Maybe you want to try dating a woman your own age or a few years younger?

Are you afraid of commitment?

[Disco]

Im not afraid of commitment, it just wasnt right with the long term one. And the 22 yr old was going great for a while, till we realized we just dont work out our problems very well.

I met the 20yr old not knowing she was that young. I like her though but I do feel kinda old with her. Is it really that wrong to date a girl this young? Come on dont make me feel so old...

[Aeradalia]

Im not afraid of commitment, it just wasnt right with the long term one. And the 22 yr old was going great for a while, till we realized we just dont work out our problems very well.

I met the 20yr old not knowing she was that young. I like her though but I do feel kinda old with her. Is it really that wrong to date a girl this young? Come on dont make me feel so old...

It's not wrong to date someone younger than you on the basis of the age difference. It's not even so much as a problem of it being morally wrong... The problem arises from the fact that at 20 or 22, women haven't finished their mental and emotional maturity. The world is ever changing for them and they simply cannot see the world as you do... yet. I would imagine this is where your relationship problems stem from.

As for your other relationship.. the one that lasted 5 years... commitment issues are just a cover for issues you had with them as a person.

My advice (which is really only an opinion) is that you might want to think about what you really want. What qualities do you want to find in someone... intellectually, emotionally, and physically? Who would make you feel like a good person when you are around them? And of course... question if you are ready for something more than infatuation...

[Disco]

Yeah I'd say I am ready, but I just havent found the right person. I wanna date for a while since I've been out of the dating scene for a long time, however I do want to meet the right person already.

I want someone who stimulates me both mentally and physically, doesnt everyone? I can be independent and I need my own time sometimes. I can be opinionated and stubborn and admittedly selfish (I'm not trying to be, I just am), so I want a girl that can roll with that and know that it doesn't mean I don't love them.

I want someone who is self confident, quirky and can do stupid silly things with me. Someone who is driven and also independent. And I also want a girl who is smoking hot!

These qualities are hard to find :/

[Aeradalia]

You may have to compromise between the personality you want and the "smoking hot" appearance you want... since it is rare to find these two together in one person... Is this something you had considered? If so, is this something you think you could be happy with?