34 year old virgin man

[jays.mews]

I am a 34 year old male virgin not by choice but didn't have any opportunity. But i feel so frustrated and restless for not having sex with a girl. Eventhouth i havent got engaged in sex with a girl, I am very picky & choosy when it comes to selecting a girl as a life partner. Also i have become shy and unable to mingle freely with girls and sometimes find it difficult to face them since i am always worried about what girls think of men like me. But now i find it very hard to control my desires and hence i watch a lot of porn for saisfying my sexual desires and it has become a sort of addiction. Is it the reason for me unable to select a partner?
However in the last 3 to 4 months i am facing a lack of concentration in my job. Please advice me whether such a situation is common for a man of my age and how i can restore my confidence and concentration and get rid of this addiction.

[Callalily]

tomorrow...ask a girl out...for a cup of coffee or something...even if she doesn't seem perfect for you...go on a date...see how things go...see what you like and don't like about her...try to be open-minded and friendly...you talk about selectiong a life partener...in the end it does come to that...but take baby steps at first

[girl68]

watching what you watch has likely given you every reason to be close minded to girls who don't look like the girls you watch.

you're gonna have to be more open minded.

[Tanguerra]

So, do you just want 'sex' or do you want a 'life partner'? Good for you if you're looking for a serious relationship, but you can 'over think' these things. Usually most people have to go out with at least a handful of people until they find someone who's right for them. Hardly anyone gets it right first time (or second, third, fourth or fifth for that matter). Perhaps, rather than putting too much weight on the whole 'life partner' thing, try to lighten up a little and try to find someone first who you find attractive and get along with? That's a step in the right direction?

"i am always worried about what girls think of men like me"
What do you mean by this? Do you have some kind of disability or are you overweight? Or do you mean the fact that you haven't had sex yet? I think if you met a nice woman and you got along well and you went out on a few dates, liked each other, enjoyed each other's company and wanted to see more of each other etc. etc then when you were starting to get a bit more 'serious', you told her you had never been with a woman she would be most intrigued and probably happy to help you out! I know I certainly would!

If you're getting addicted to porn, this is not good at all. Also watching too much porn will give you a completely distorted idea of what real sex with a real person is all about. It might be a good idea to use the services of a professional? Maybe that sounds a bit extreme, but perhaps extreme measures are called for here if things are becoming unmanagable? You will find prostitutes can be pretty sympathetic about this kind of stuff and may be able to give you all kinds of good advice about the simple mechanics of love making too. It might sound shocking, but it might be worth considering?