My wife and her ex

[jbinhouston]

My wife and I have been married for about six months. Before we began dating, my wife dated another guy for about 4 years. We only dated a short period of time before getting engaged. While we were engaged, I saw on her computer that she had been logged onto his email account. So, she was obviously thinking about him while we were engaged. I called her on it, and she said she was just snooping and it meant nothing. She felt terrible and promised me that she loves me and she would never do it again.

The other day, I saw on her computer that she had been looking at her ex's website. She obviously is still thinking about him. I am upset about this, but I also know she isn't cheating on me with him. It just feels like I'm not the person she wants to be with, and it hurts. Should I confront her about this? If so, what is the best way to do it?

[SelflessnHumble]

No offense: but this is all your fault!
You never got to know her, and this is by far the biggest mistake to make with "people." -Considering she hides things from you
and essentially shits on your marriage: what is there to do other than to confront her, to find out why and to find out her next move
now that she obviously knows it makes you feel uncomfortable?

She obviously still has feelings for this man. While saying "I do" at an altar possibly thinking about what HE was doing while vowing to devote her life to yours!!!!

It's pretty simple to fix this situation:
(1) You cannot change people nor control them.
(2) She has every right to contact another man, (even an ex) and should she choose, to invade his privacy via snooping (which is actually a crime)

The issue is: she should not be doing this shit while married, so she wasn't ready: and you weren't a very good judge of character.
What else could she be hiding had you never snooped? Exactly.

[girl68]

It's for this exact reason people should have long periods of dating before marriage. I don't think there is much you can do about it. She's not over her ex and never was.

[jbinhouston]

We were together for over two years when we got married. I'm just wondering if her looking at her ex's facebook page is something that should alarm me or not. They are not communicating with each other in any way.

[bluesummer]

I just think you're being paranoid.

My husband and I talk to our ex's regularly. I don't freak out about it. Unless it ended under extremely horrible circumstances, the fact is an ex that you've spent a number of years with is someone you have some sort of connection to. They are irrevocably attached to your past, your memories. Do you HAVE to hate them and cut them out of your life? Is it wrong to be curious about what they're up to? I don't think so.

I think you have some lingering insecurity about getting engaged so quick, but it's likely your own personal issue and not hers.