Deleted & Blocked me off both Facebook and MSN Messenger

[moonriver1]

Hi everyone, i need some advice, i cant get my head around this. I feel out with my best friend on sunday night, who was also my ex-girlfriend of about 3 years ago (lasted 5 months). But soon after we broke up we became great friends, and found out we had so much in common, and over the past 3 years we have had so much fun, and on a cuple of occasions we kissed, last time being february. Some people mistakingly thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend at time. We did have big fallings out, and didnt speak to each other for a few days, but eventually we would.

Thing is, a cuple of years ago, alot of people i knew had driving licences, and i was embarassed i didnt have one, so i said i did have a full one, but as time went on, i wanted to tell her the truth so much, but it got harder and harder, she kept thinking i didnt have one, asking "are u sure u have a full license?", but i had to cover up, cause i didnt wana risk losing her, its how much i cared for her, that i needed to lie about it, but eventually (on sunday) i decided i couldnt lie to her anymore about it, and i wanted to be truthful from now on, so i told her the truth, that i never had a full license, and i only got the real thing 2 months ago, and she went crazy, it was exactly why i could never have told her, and she now thinks that other things in the past ive lied about aswell, and that she cant trust me ever again. Most other people ive told, have said she shouldnt fall out with me over this, she should be annoyed but not hate me, its hard for me to get over this, cause we were inseperable, we had so much in common and had so much fun, i really cared about her, and now she has cut me out of her life forever cause of this. I find it difficult to accept, as i loved her and did anything for her, i even bailed her out financially when she needed it, she still owes me £800, which ive always said, pay me when u can, even when ive needed it. Ive been a great friend to her.

Not only that, me and 2 other best friends of mine have started a business start-up, and we needed help with it, and cause she was un-employed i asked her to come on-board with us, and the company would pay her, (me helping her out again), shes been doing bout 20hrs a week for us on it, and has become a vital member of the team, however even though she has blocked and deleted any form of communication that we once had, and told me to "never try and speak or contact her ever again", and that she cant trust me, and that other things we fell out about in the past are probably lies, she still continues to work for our company, through my friends, as if i didnt exist, she talks away to them on msn messenger about the work and how shes getting on.

Sorry about the essay, but can anyone make any sense of this, even though shes done this, i find it hard to let go, i love her so much, and would do anything to have her back. But shes cut off all communication. But still talks to 2 of my best friends about the business and updates during the day.

Thanks for reading!

[Bumble_bee]

as close as your were to her, I can understand why she was upset, she even asked you and you had the opportunity to tell the truth but you didn't.

If you can make contact tell her the reason why you lied...your sorry you didn't tell her and that you hope that you guys can at least talk about it. don't pressure her, but just let her know your as upset about your lie as she is.

[moonriver1]

I did, i told her how upset i was/am, but she said she couldnt trust me ever again, lie aside, i was always a best friend to her through everything, and i told her i did it to protect our friendship, which is why i never told her over any occasion, cause i didnt wana risk losing her, which i told her aswell, but i did, cause i wanted to be honest, i cared about her so much, i didnt want to lie to her anymore, and i had always been a great friend to her, and did anything for her, helped her with work, studies, money and life, all i wanted for her was to be happy! which is why i told the truth, cause i couldnt live this great friendship and i wanted to clear the cobwebs, ive one of her friends, who i had to lie to about it, the truth the other day too, about the license, and he was like silly boy to me, but he said he wouldnt break a great friendship cause of it, which is what everyone else has said to me, that shes being over the top about it

[Petit Papillon]

Oh buddy she`s just looking for an excuse to not pay You 800 pounds back

[moonriver1]

No i know shes not like that, shes always known id only take it off her when she was able to pay me back

[soulsurvivor23]

as close as your were to her, I can understand why she was upset, she even asked you and you had the opportunity to tell the truth but you didn't.

If you can make contact tell her the reason why you lied...your sorry you didn't tell her and that you hope that you guys can at least talk about it. don't pressure her, but just let her know your as upset about your lie as she is.

I disagree.. But I guess it's also because I can relate to that problem, probably for different reasons though. I didn't receive my license until I was 20 and all my friends had it at 15 or 16. When I was 19 I really liked this girl, and I asked her out and she said yes. So for the first date we doubled so it wasn't a topic at that time as her friend had a car. I called her up for a 2nd date and she asked if I had a car and I said no. Then she asked if I had a license and I said yes due to being embarrassed and not wanting her to cancel our date.

Anyways, I don't think she should trip that much over it. Just tell her exactly what you just said, that you were embarrassed to tell her the truth and that you're sorry. If you were best friends, she wouldn't want to end a friendship over something like this unless she has major trust issues or something.

[Petit Papillon]

No i know shes not like that, shes always known id only take it off her when she was able to pay me back

She wanted just to put the `dot` after the word `never`.

[Bumble_bee]

Survivor, did you tell her the truth in the end? it might be the same lie you told, but its under entirely different circumstances, these guys are close friends....I do think its an over reaction, but you still got to wonder about people-who when given the opportunity to come clean-don't....

[soulsurvivor23]

I didn't tell her the truth in the end.. Because at the time I told her that I was in process of getting my license so I didn't feel like it was super important. Like, if I told her I had it and then got it a year or two later, that would've been a bigger deal.. I mean, I know the easier (and better)thing would be to just be honest, but admitting you can't drive to a girl you like is quite difficult.

[moonriver1]

@Survivor: I did tell her everything, i told her everything from the heart that i didnt do it to hurt her, i was embarrased and didnt wana lose her which is why i never told her.

@bumblebee, your right some people just dont come clean, and i did, cause i respected and cared about her so much i didnt wana lie to her anymore. When we spoke for the last time on monday, she told me to leave her alone, and to never speak to her or contact her ever again, and i replied, that i cared about her too much to end this like this, and i dont know how i will get through this, i said that to her, and she replied "stop being so dramatic!"....any idea why she would say that? of course im being dramatic, id do anything for her to still be my friend!

[Bumble_bee]

I think its wholly unfair that she should cut you off like that...but there is nothing you can do but beg at this point, and you don't owe her that much of an apology...

You have apologised, you gave your explanation...she is being unreasonable.

[moonriver1]

Yeh i totally agree, but my problem is im not strong enough to let go, and she is, i wish i wasnt like this, im too soft and i cant help it, ive been off work for nearly 3 days now, trying to get over this, im not a bad person, i know that. And i know i did the right thing, she thinks she cant trust me anymore, but the fact i told her the truth for something so big, would make you think, she might have some ounce of trust for me, i dont know :/

[soulsurvivor23]

And another situation i've also been in is one which a girl cuts me off completely. Deleted and blocked MSN, and myspace (at that time). And I can tell you from experience that there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. You've told her the truth, apologized for it, laid it all out on the line. If she really doesn't want to talk to you she won't, and no amount of begging and pleading is gonna change that. And if she doesn't, it's gonna be extremely difficult to get over, it's gonna be hard, but you've done what you can and it's all up to her now.

[lastwish]

You made yourself a doormat so she is just treating you like one. Btw, friends are suppose to treat each equal and with respect. You should have never allowed a 800 dollar debt hanging and do so many things for her (unless she did other things for you as well). She's acting like a brat because you made her that way.

[moonriver1]

Yeh she often did things for me aswell, and i know she always really cared about me, we were even talking about all this, less than 2 weeks ago, on a drunken night out, how we really care about each other, and love one another. But then i told her the truth about the car thing, it wasnt anything personal that i lied, i didnt mean for it to harm her, and i lied to others in the lead up to it too, and i told them the truth after i told her, and they were ok with me, but she will never talk to me again