Is it worth waiting? Hope or no hope?

[pinkinterlude]

Me and my bf ended our relationship just over 2 weeks ago.
We've still been in contact though after the first week, I told him I didnt think he should contact me anymore until he knows what he wants, as it was all giving me false hope.

I brought up the idea of breaking up cos he admitted he wasnt over his ex of 3 years but wanted to be. At first he was trying to persuade me not to end things but I thought we should so he could have some time to get over her.

After a few days, I felt it was a mistake and he still contacted me. I felt that as long as he actually wanted to get over her and move on, it shouldnt be an issue. This was the only issue we had in our whole relationship. I told him I wanted us to get back together but he said he thinks maybe he should have some time to sort his head out cos he doesnt want to hurt me. I told him I understood.

though still he contacted me, turned up to my house a week after breaking up saying he couldnt bear the thought of me meeting someone else. Then the next day, we just talked things through. I told him I wanted to be with him still and he said the same but 'doesnt know'. Thats when I said contact me when you do.

Then a week went by with no contact.I went out again on friday. He texts me at 11pm asking if I was in the usual place I go to to cos him and his mates are going and he doesnt want to ruin my night. I replied saying 'I wasnt and dont be silly he would ruin my night, have fun;. He replied back jokingly that he would only embarrass me with his dance moves anyway.

At 3am, he texts asking if I want to meet him cos he wants to see me but I didnt reply cos it was obvious what he wanted. He text again saying he justwants to see me and wants to talk. He text again half an hour later saying if I know that I want to see him then he'll be waiting for me. I didnt reply cos I assumed he was drunk and by this point I had gone home.

I got another text saying 'Im drunk, can I come with you?' Then a few phone calls. I didnt answer them cos I got really upset and didnt want him to hear me crying. I felt a bit better and eventually answered about half an hour later, and he was saying how this week of no contact has been like hell for him and that he's depressed and confused. He asked if he could call back in ten mins, it sounded like he was about to cry.

Ten mins later, I answered and his friend was on the phone. I asked if he was okay an his friend said he was and that he was gonna bring him to his. He put my ex back on the phone and he asked me to come to his friends in town to talk. I said no cos I was at home. I said thisprobably wasnt the best time to talk about his and last time we did, we went round in circles.

He told me he tried to drop his phone in a puddle cos he didnt want to ring her. By her, he meant his ex. I asked if he had been talking to her and he said no but that she did this to us and he was angry at her. I told him its not her fault and that he just needs time.

I heard his firend in the background so I said that I should go. I only answered cos I thought he was on his own and that his friend had gone to bed or smething. He told me he wanted me to stay on the phone but I said he'll be okay cos hes got his friend there. I felt like I was about to cry again too. He said he wants to talk and could we meet up and could he talk to me tomorrow. I said yes. I asked him one final time if he was okay and that he sounded better than before, and he said no Im still the same.

The next day, I get a text from him saying 'sorry if I spoke to you a bit angrily last night, didnt mean to' I replied saying he didnt and that I was worried about him and asked if he was feeling a bit better today. He replied saying 'I dont know, and that he is at his friends safe and hungover'. I replied saying okay feel better soon. I havent heard from him since.
I know its stalkerish but he hasnt even been on facebook/twitter or anything and he normally always is. Im a bit worried.

What do you make of all this? And do you think Im over reacting by worrying?
I want to get back with him but I know he'll need some time to figure things out. I know in the mean time I should move on and concentrate on myself and I started to last week but after this weekend, how am I supposed to?

any advice would be great. Sorry for the mega essay

[cmacattack1]

He sounds so so so very confused. Going through anger, lonliness, desparation, impracticality (destroying his phone so he won't call his ex? That's dramatic). He keeps calling you because he thinks he NEEDS you to help him through this, but the only thing that is happening is that it's hurting you while he is just focusing on himself. The only thing he needs is to figure this out on his own without your help or support and the flip flopping between contacting you and no contact. It will make him stronger and better in the long run I promise you. It may feel like you guys are together because you are talking regularly, but you aren't. Think about yourself in this and how you are getting dragged through the mud.

You may feel like it's not caring and that you are being heartless but you aren't. He cannot even think of considering you and your feelings right now because he's so confused and messed up thinking about his issues. You are doing you both a favor. I'm not telling you that you have to go date other people, but you need to be on your own to get yourself back to normal while he gets back to normal. This is the only way you can have a chance of having a new and stronger relationship.