Hi... this is a long post but i would greatly appreciated if people can give me advice!
So i been dating my girlfriend for about one year, long distance relationship. And my longest relationship. After looking back, i did mess up alot, ignoring her many times when she calls, really insecured with her, always suspecting her doing things, and that always ignites our often arguments, However i know the fact she really loved me when we were going out although we both knew our personality dont really fit since the beginning but we hang on to it. She would spent time argueing with me when i suspect her. She visits me most of the time while i barely go visit her.
Anyways, so we been argueing alot throughout our relationships, but until a month ago thats when everything really went down, we really got into serious fights even more often, every 1-2 days, mostly because i have insecurity towards her and she hates it when i suspect her or nag at her. We then go into the cycle of consistent breaking up, although after one or maximum 2 days, one of us will start trying to contact the other and got back to normal. However, to her, we already broke up, we are just still talking, but to me i thought we are still together just because the way we would still talk everyday.
I was suppose to go visit her one of this weekend, although that time we are already broken up, she still asked me to go visit her, and i prepared alot of effort in preparing gifts to bring her because i know we been fighting alot and not doing well. Again, before i actually did visit her, arguements happen again, and most of them caused by me again due to insecurity. She told me not to go anymore dont want to see me, and i suspect her of seeing some other guy and asked my friend that goes to her school to help me find out, and apparently my ex found out about me trying to investigate on her life although we broke up, and plus the result was that theres nothing between them, this made her even more angry and certain about her decision of not wanting to see me and break up. I begged her, drunk texting, calling her, which i shouldnt do, it made her even more angry and felt annoyed of me, blocking my fb and phone, etc.
I booked my ticket trying to go see her the week after and give her a week of calmness until her friend txt me telling me i shouldnt go surprise meet her because she is seeing some other guy. I asked my ex about it and she told me she did start contacting that guy the weekend i was suppose to go visit her during valentines, but there was nothing between them at the time until i kept bothering her and investigate her and made her want to go to that guy to just get me off her back. I know she still have feeling for me before i messed up because she told me, the time she start contacting that guy? now i am not sure if she is really liking that guy or just to piss me off and kind of start contacting that guy, i am sure she still has feelings for me but just mad.
i have stopped contacting her for about a week, plus she blocked my phone. I am planning to still mail her the gifts i bought for her before and write a card to her. Shes the type of person that when she is annoyed, she will get super mad, and when shes super mad she WOULD say anything she want even like i never loved you before, this happen even before when we just had our usual fights. So i guess she might be just still mad and wont listen to anything i said right now.
Either she doesnt really have feeling for that guy, these sent items might move her, or she is certain about us over and moving on. But i really still love her and want to get her back, what should i do? and what should i write in my letter to her that would work the best??? Would she still have feeling for me? i know the fact she did love me alot, but now after all this went down i dont know anymore. please give me advices!!
Thanks for helping out!!!