not ready for a relationship??

[kredman9959]

i am 19 and been with my boyfriend of 22yrs old for just under 3wks but he sent me a message through facebook saying he thinks we should stop seeing each other-this is what the message was:

hey! I'm stuck at work and you're out at the film so I can't call you, but I really, really didn't want this hanging in the air either.

I'm just not really sure we should see each other anymore.... I really do like you a hell of a lot, but you've come on really, really strong. It's just that after everything with my ex and how serious that all was, I'm just not ready for someone so 'full on' - I got a bit nervous when you set us as in a relationship after the second date, but it didn't really bother me that much - it's this with the camping trip that's really made me uncomfortable.

Believe me I am *gutted* that I can't go, but these things happen and you just make the best of a bad situation, after two and half weeks of seeing eachother you really, really wanted me to quit my job to go away for one weekend- which on one hand is really sweet that you care enough about it, but on the other hand the whole persistence has really pushed me away and after such a short time seeing each other is has been a really 'in your face' thing to hit me with.

It's not that I value money over happiness or put you second, but I have responsibilities and a life that I can't jeopardise for one amazing weekend that could be done another time. I kept trying to explain that but you didn't let it drop.

Sorry isn't the right word, but I am disappointed nothing will come of us. You are genuinely an amazing person and I'm sure you'll meet someone who is ready to jump into something mega serious.

Call me if you want to, I wanted to call you but like I said - I didn't want something so horrid to be hanging about in the air.

Adam xxxx

he was with his ex for 5yrs but this relationship ended months ago. she treated him really badly in the last yr he was with her so he has lost confidence in himself and doesn't trust people in the same way he once did. we were getting on really well with one another and both admitted we had never felt like this about someone before.......it was all going so well. but then this week his temporary job at a call centre had a meeting with everyone saying that they were cancelling everyones annual leave for may and june-we had booked away a weekend camping together so this messed our plans up big time. we dont live very close to each other so we were contacting each other through text instead about the situation.i went to the trouble of finding out employee rights telephone numbers because it didnt seem legal what the business was doing. he thanked me for going to the trouble of getting the numbers etc, called them but then we found out it was all legal anyway!he hates his call centre job so i suggested he could quit+find another job but the whole thing was thrown out of proportion because it was over text :-S it didnt help that i was having the worst day when i recieved the news about camping-one of my exs friends started talking to me online and completely messed with my emotions so i was angry and upset, which resulted in not letting the camping situation drop for agers and i overreacted to it all

when i recieved the facebook message i went round to his flat to talk about everything face to face. he explained that the camping situation blew up and he is not ready for a relationship to be that intense after his ex. i explained what had happened with my exs friend, appologised and told him it is not like me-my bad day made me act out of character. i suggested we give it another go but take things slower because we had taken things very fast and that seems to have made him panick. its as though he is scared to get close to someone again incase he gets hurt. he told me he is going to think everything through over the next few days then get back to me but is this just a nice way of him saying he won't get back with me??

we were fine before the whole camping situation and its been blown out of proportion over text!!!!!!
when i spoke to him last night he said he doesnt want to end it but he feels its the fairest thing to do for me as its not fair for me to be with someone whos head is all over the place

i really like this guy because there is a real connection between us that none of us have felt for another person before. i dont want to lose him but is there any chance of him taking me back?and do i go back to his place to talk about it again or not?i get on with his mum really well and had a good chat with her, she knows that he really likes me but he felt the whole camping situation was over the top (i made a mistake with that and ive explained it to him) she said he just wants to take things slow in a relationship and have a laugh......which is what i want, i am so laid back about relationships but he caught me at a really back time and i reacted in an unusual way that i have never done before-i made 1 mistake that has wrecked everythin

i feel i cant lose him because we have so many interests and opinions which are the same......there is also that special something which is there that i cant quite explain.i cant let him go without a fight because i feel i will regret it for the rest of my life if i do!

PLEASE HELP!!!!

[Alvy]

Why can't you two just remain as friends for now? He's probably (or still definitely) trying to get over his ex, and from what you described so far...you're coming on too 'strong', which, well, can be a tad scary for some people. Don't bring up relationships or emotions, just trying hanging out as buddies for a while. The beauty of the situation is that you're 19, which means you've still got ~61 years of life to live, so don't think of this guy as your 'one and only'.