What is this feeling?

[Shinto]

I made 2 threads here before about getting to know this girl I like. I'm 21, never even had a date before and I think she never had a boyfriend also. I'm a bit farther now, we've had 3 dates and another planned next week. We're both quite shy and I think it's pretty obvious we like each other for both of us from the way we behave, though we haven't mentioned anything about this or even that what we had were "dates". We're probably too shy to openly admit anything yet. On the last date a few days ago I think she was expecting to be kissed. We were watching movies at my place and she was playing with her lips like 2 hours straight.. I wanted to, but then my heart started beating fast and I got nervous and was too scared to try. Next date is at her place.


Anyway, that's the rough situation; what I'm trying to find out about actually, is what am I really feeling for her? I know I've been infatuated 2 times back in school, both ending without even getting to know the other. I never believed that there could be a situation where I wouldn't know my own feelings, but right now I'm really confused about it. It's not even like I don't know what this feeling I have is, no. I don't even know what am I feeling.. if that makes any sense. Every time I try to think of what I want, my mind just goes blank.

I know I had fun on the dates we had and I want to meet her again and do other things.. I think. We even were cuddling a tiny bit a few times which was a beatiful feeling I think I'd like to take further.
On the other hand, I have to admit that I don't think of her as the most beatiful girl I've seen. Though it feels like the more I look at her, the more I like her looks. Would I be more overwhelmed by her beauty if my feelings are real or is this normal?

I've also asked myself a few times, do I just want a girlfriend, or do I want her as my girlfriend? The only way I could answer with certainty was by asking the opposite. Would I be okay with a different girl? This one I can answer with a certain no. What I think is strange though is that I'm not like "wow, she's an angel, she's the most special girl on earth, etc." More like I recognize she's just a normal girl, I like her, and I'm certain I wouldn't be able to like any other girl. I can't get into deeper thoughts than that, which is really different from what I can remember from my infatuations from school. I don't know what this is telling me? Do I not have enough feelings? Or is it something positive?
Something else that's most probably a good thing is that I seem to have lost interest in paying attention to other girls.

My greatest worry is that I'm just feeling "satisfied" to have someone who likes me back for the first time and don't feel the same way. That I'm just pushing myself to like her because of that.

Another thing that might be positive but could also be negative is that I totally don't want to disappoint her, meaning I don't want to tell her I don't like her after all. I would hate to have to do that to her if she likes me and I'm worried that this might also be a reason I'm pushing myself to like her.

One more similar positive thing is that I know I'm worried about her if there is a reason to. She was sick one time and there was this bad virus going around in our area and I was really scared something happened.

Also I like to see her happy and love her smile, but start to feel bad if she doesn't smile.


Maybe what I wrote mostly seems like I like her, maybe it doesn't, I don't even know myself.
So the reason I'm asking here is that I can't answer with certainty wether I like her, love her or am just attracted to her.
Or is it too early to think about that after just 3 dates?
Hope someone can help.

[HeartIsAching]

Right now, you're feeling a crush, and maybe a bit of lust. Give it time.

[bulrush]

Give it 3 more dates, then reevaluate your feelings for her.