Needing a guy's perspective here..

[brite_eyes23]

I'm having a problem with my boyfriend, we've been dating for a little over two and a half years. We share a computer and both have separate emails & AIM accounts...he had a chat box open on the computer the other day and I saw a chat log with another girl.

Clearly we both are 'able' to have friends of either sex, we aren't controlling monsters over eachothers lives. However...this one particular girl has got me wondering...she had been sending him texts, and he responds, late into the night, for the last few months. I have asked him about her and all I ever get back is that shes an old friend from high school (hasn't seen her in 4 years..but a friend no less.)

Well back to this chat log that I saw...she had mentioned that she was watching the show "What Not To Wear" (a show that makes over horribly fashioned people) and that she was hoping to get some pointers. My boyfriend replied to that, that she could wear a bikini all the time and she'd be just fine.

I don't recall what was said after that, as to what her reply was, other than oh no I could never do that...to which he replied of course you could. Then the conversation switched gears and continued.

We both had kept internet history and chat logs, to be able to reference things that had happened in the past (phone numbers, addresses, plans, etc) and about two months ago he stopped logging everything, which is out of character of him. I am really hurt by this and up until now we've had a real strong and trusting relationship but now I am just wondering what else is going on...

He knows that Im upset, hurt, confused about this...but i dont know where to go from here. I don't think he'd ever cheat...but now I've got this pressing my trust on the issue

Any advice..suggestions..sanity? lol

[kene]

I think you're being paranoid.

[agatha]

Over reacting too..

That's only a chatmate!

[Tedel]

You consider the fact he's not storing the conversations any more as a sign of cheating. I don't think you should. After all, conversations shouldn't have been kept at all! I have friends with whom I flirt a lot with... but we both know nothing will happen between us ever.

Now, if he changes his attitude towards you and becomes, for example, evasive, then you have something to be very concerned about.

From a different point of view, there is something I think you should keep in mind: If you don't trust the person, don't force yourself to have a relationship with that person. Years ago, there weren't Internet or chat. Imagine how would you react if these weren't chats but phone conversations. Would you feel the same?

[GrkScorp]

It sounds like he's just bored with his sex life.., and wants to experiment with something new..

Hey.., just being brutally honest..

It could be good or bad..

The fact that he's doing it online and leaving a trail behind means that..

a. He's not the brightest crayon in the box..
b. He's too much of a wuss to do it in person..
c. He's highly unlikely to actually act on it..

If I was you.., I'd be more than able to sleep at night..

The good part about it is that he'll eventually be turned off by the girl talking about this stuff with.. It eventually happens.. He'll start to pay closer attention to the way she looks.., it won't be worth it.., he won't feel the same connection there.. and poof.. it's done and over with..

That's the great part about dating a wussy guy.. He'll rarely ever do anything..

The internet?!?!?!? I mean.., common! Give me a break!

What are you two? Like 12?

I think all he really needs is to see you in a bikini.. You don't have to let your imagination run wild and create all kinds of imaginary explanations and reasons.. It's as simple as that..

[doppelgaenger]

I can't believe your foundation of trust relies on internet chat records. What kind of silly-assed relationship is this?

[Simba420]

Yeah, regardless if he is or isn't, you could have a much happier relationship if you are honestly this paranoid.

[Junket]

Wait wait wait.

He just so happened to have left his chat log open where he suggested she wear a bikini?

That's very convenient of him to provide you with that kind of ammo isn't it?