Difficult situation at work.

[lbnine]

I work at the same bar as my girlfriend of one year, last Saturday after work another girl we both work with kissed me I told her stop as I had a girlfriend. I know I'm not a totally innocent party in this as my girlfriend was sat downstaris while everyone else was upstairs drinking. I was goign down to see her regularly but I felt I wanted to be chatting with this girl because we were having fun. When she led me into the supply closet, and said there is no security cameras in here I should have stopped her immediatley and I didn't.

The thing is this girl is really sweet, quite timid, as soon as she I told her to stop she looked really upset, she realised she'd done something bad. I comforted her, it was a little akward and she went home for the night.The next day I texted her make sure she was okay, she apologised I said it was more my fault than hers. We chatted for a couple of days through text, just about studies etc. We always have great fun when we chat, I've noticed some sexual tension in the past and beyond what may just be a throwaway drunken kiss she has given signs she likes me. People at work joke my accent is confused, everyone mistakes me for being Irish when I'm clearly not. She said saturday Patricks days it made her think of me, she's asked quite a few times about what me and my girlfriend will do when I have to leave for Germany... she even asked me what my parents think of my thing for asian girls (current GF Japanese, past chinese she is Vietnamese) which seemed odd/ very flirty. Now obviously, the stupid thing is... I can't stop thinking about her!

I'm going on holiday for 3 weeks so I won't see her gunna try to get it out my system, but If that doesn't work I don't know what to do. I cheated once in the past and I don't want to be that person anymore. Just I feel things with my current girlfriend are becoming for lack of a better word stale, the realtionship used to be so much fun now I don't feel so much. Also she says she feels so close to me it's more like family; there's not really much passion there we rarely have sex and it's only when she is drunk which kinda hurts my feelings. We haved talked about this but it's very difficlut to discuss it in a matter that doesnt make me sound like a monster...

Come September I'm moving abroad so I won't see either of these girls, my girlfriend and I have deicded to go on a break, but I feel moving to a new country and splitting with girlfriend at the same time will be quite hard on me. I wanted to discuss breaking things off a little early but I'm finding it hard to think how I can do this without crushing her feelings.

I know it's a terrible idea to cheat, I'm not gunna do that, and if things were to break off with my current girlfriend pursueing this other girl would be stupid when we all work together but I can't help . Kind of looks like a lose-lose situation to me, but it doesn't stop me thinking about her, and the more I do the more I feel myself being less open with my girlfriend.

The biggest worry a complicated siutation like this that resulted in the ending of my last realtionship came at a time where I've got a lot of anxieity about my future, last time starting uni/ family problem this time moving country and exams next month.

Any thoughts?

[smackie9]

You are not married so you can do whatever you want really. It's simple, break up with your GF and have a fling with new girl but make sure she understands that it's just sex and nothing more, find a job somewhere else.

[lbnine]

I like my job, my bosses are good to me, but I'll only be there till September with me getting a 1 year placment abroad. Besides I live with my girl friend, it would totally uproot my life.

It would be good to have something less serious just go on dates etc. Cannot see her agreeing if I'm just in it for the sex....

[smackie9]

Well then you just answered your questions. Stay with GF and keep using her for accommodations, keep job, stop fooling around with other girl because you can't commit to a relationship. In other words keep it in your pants and don't date people you work with. There will be plenty of hot chicks to screw when you go abroad.

If that isn't suitable, tell your GF you think you both should date other people and see where that gets you. She might agree since she doesn't have sex with you much anymore.

And if that doesn't work, get your GF to kick you out, and let other girl feel sorry for you and maybe take you in. Then you can get laid, live under her roof till you have to leave. If you want to lie to her about it just being sex then that's your business.