Hello,
I've had couple really bad relationships, in which every time the guy started behaving strangely and it always meant he wanted to leave.
After 4 failures I decided to go on dating website as started thinking I'm being dragged somehow to idiots and timewasters who want only to have fun with me. Also, I started thinking maybe I'm not lovable at all and this is the reason why it never worked.
So, I had 3 dates, which one turned out to be a really great guy, who doesn't do drugs, doesn't drink much and is responsible. Since then we've been seeing each other and it's been 4 months. I've been quickly introduced to his friends and always been showed he really cares about me. Then, last weekend I made a mistake- had only couple shots of vodka at the party and it made me driunk and he had to take me home. I've never reacted to such a small amount of alcohol that badly but apparently it wasn't my day for drinking. I apologised for this as felt embarassed as really wanted to meet more of his friends and taking me home at midnight meant I couldn't do it. He said it's all right and it just happens and he knows I donT drink much anyway, so should stop being hard on myself. Same day I suffered hangover we booked tickets to Paris and made our way to meet his other friends for a dinner and movie. As I wasn't feeling m best I wasn't very talktive that evening. Also, as all his close firends live with girlfriends I started feeling jealous about it as it never happened to me that someone loved me so much to live with me (even during 4 years relationship with my ex) and I started feeling like I was worse than these girls. I've been trying to chat and smile but inside I simply was upset. When we returned to his place after movie, he asked me what's going on as he's not stupid and see that's something wrong. I simply lied to him by saying everthing is fine but still was very quiet. What obviously made the situation worse. As he's been really tired for the past few weeks as he works really hard, we just fell asleep, next morning he got up, had a shower, we had a small morning chat, gave me a kiss and went to work. And my female freaky mind started working the things out. As usually he asks me what i'm doing during thw week, so we could see one evening, this time he didn't offer this. Also he only answers my text mesages, doesn't text me first now (he's really crap in answering messages anyway- it's just he is and I somehow I got used to it but it happened he was texting me first). So, as most of women I started thiking maybe he wants to leave as I turned out to be an idiot that night.
What I'm confused about is the fact maybe I overreact as had bad previous experience with guys and also feel this pressure as all my friends managed to get husbands and long term boyfirends and I'm the only one who's always been unlucky (the 30 years old woman syndrome). What struck me, I notice I really care about him. And it scares me too as being afraid to be hurt and I don't deal with this very well- especially now, knowing I passed the time when one guy leave there's the chance to have the other one- but I'm not 20 something anymore. It's more difficult to find someone because of my age and experience.
Am I overreacting?