Hi Everybody,
I have been with my girlfriend for almost two years now. We have been long distance for one year. I just proposed to her a month ago and we are happily engaged. However, a few days ago, she told me that to pay for school, she had been a prostitute (worked for an out-call agency) for a year. It totally devastated me inside, but I know it was even more painful time for her.
She only did it because there was no other way to pay for school and living expenses (she comes from an unbelievably poor background), and it's hurt her for so long. She did it a few years ago, and she's cried herself to sleep for so many nights. When she told me, I was 100% supportive. I told her I wouldn't our love wouldn't change, and that I wouldn't see her any different. Truthfully, she is so good to me and I can't be with anyone else. I am also good to her, this is something nobody else in the world knows about, and she thought that this is something that she would take to the grave with her. But, she felt everyday that I didn't know that she was betraying me, and had to tell me. Well actually, I just could sense that something was bothering her, and it took me hours to get it out of her.
In any case, when she first told me, she said that I probably wouldn't love her anymore and wouldn't want to be with her anymore. I knocked down all of those arguments, but I did let her know how much it hurts me that she's been with so many guys now. I know it's some jealousy, and I know it's all in the past, but it still eats at me. I am getting much better, the first day I was totally shaking and had to call in for some emergency counseling to get myself calmed down. The first time in my life I have done that.
So, is this basically just a case of me needing to get past her sexual history? She knows that it hurts for me, and I've cried many times with her, but I keep telling her that I won't stop loving her. How can I make the pain go away, so that I can be a better man for her, to support her for all the pain she had to endure to make it to where she is today?
Thank you for your help.