How to Breakup

[TAVS]

So whats the best way to breakup with someone. I've only broken up with a girl once, and that was like 10 years ago. And honestly, I did that over email. I was young and stupid, what can I say? Since then, my relationships have been long term in nature and I've always been the dumpee. I've been seeing this woman for a few months now. Shes a great girl, but I just dont feel this is going to work out long term. I feel its best to end it now, she's already getting pretty attached to me. So what do I do?

Do I go hang out some evening and then before I leave drop the bomb?
Do I call and say we need to talk and that I am going to come over?
Do I just drop by her place with the bad news?

Whats the most gentle way to handle this type of thing?

[shh!]

Sorry TAVS, but you aren't breaking up with me. I won't have it.

[shh!]

PS telling her "we need to talk" will give her time to prepare herself emotionally... everyone knows they are getting dumped when they hear those words. Be sure to use the "it's not you; it's me" bit.

Why don't you like her?

[Dasein]

Yes the "we need to talk" is quite effective. It evokes the panic button straight away so I wouldn't leave too long in between the "we need to talk" and the actual talk.

Just say what you feel and that you don't see it going anywhere. People try to protract things to protect feelings but in the end it only makes things worse.

[lesa]

Another way (I very sadly discovered this technique online many, many years ago) is to say the 'we need to talk' and then become extremely depressing and unsatisfying for them. Don't ever be mean or cruel but become very quiet, less interactive, and depressed-like. Finally you and the gf will breakup in agreement.

[TAVS]

PS telling her "we need to talk" will give her time to prepare herself emotionally... everyone knows they are getting dumped when they hear those words. Be sure to use the "it's not you; it's me" bit.

Why don't you like her?

I do like her, but I'm sure people can understand, sometimes you can like a person but not feel the spark of a budding relationship.

[Mish]

I'm sorry to hear that it's not working out Tavs.

Be honest with her and tell her face to face, tell her the reasons and that you regret that it has to be this way. Afterwards do no contact thing so she can get unattached.

[Gribble]

Break up with her like a man, man.

Just cut off all contact.

[TAVS]

I've had my heart broken enough to know how much it hurts. There is a right way and a wrong way to end a relationship and I'm not taking the wrong way just to get an extra mark on my guy card

[1averagejoe]

I've had my heart broken enough to know how much it hurts. There is a right way and a wrong way to end a relationship and I'm not taking the wrong way just to get an extra mark on my guy card

I respect that...not all us guys are complete douche bags.