Complicated

[blauw]

Here's the long & complicated story that I went through the last month...

Meet a girl on the net about 1 and a half month's ago. We were chatting pretty much all day ... starting sending txt messages every now & then.
One a blue saturday-afernoon we chatted for like 4 hours straight playing a question game ( u ask me a Q and I answer & then the other way around ).
At the end she asks me out! I said I got nothing to do anyway tonight so ... why not!

She was in a relationship for 4 years. But she got dumped by the guy 2 month's ago! But he wants to be friends but she can't handle it! She has almost no1 to share her grief with since she the friends all choose the ex his side!

And so we meet that night ... Went to the beach and we continued the chat from the internet. We both had a nice evening.
As the days passed ... We got to meet eachother more often. Like 1-3 times a week or so since she only lives like 5 mins away.
On an evening she invited me over & the first kiss was a fact .. She made is romantic with candles and stuff .. Music on the background. I felt on the kiss she was serious!

2 days after I go to her house and watch a movie and I noticed she was confused and didn't know where to sit & stuff ... Asked what is wrong ...
The bottom line was : her ex was still on her mind.
I said : ofcourse ... it's only been 2 month's.
@ The end she said she needed time. "Give me time to get him out of my head"
I said : ok ( with a broken heart )

Only 3 days later she calls me If i could come over!
She called her ex-boyfriend saying this is a goodbye forever!
And she told me she wants a relationship! So that made me very happy!

Week or 2 later ... I went over. She was bissy cleaning up when suddenly the phone rings! YES her ex-boyfriend ...
When the conversation was over ... she cried & stuff.
Tried to comfort her but that didn't work.
Again she said : Think it's better for us to wait and see what happends ... If all this is over & it's meant to be ... i'll come and find you!

Pretty much same as few weeks before ... but I had the feeling this was like a permanent thingy. Again I was heartbroken. Hardly slept! Hardly eat.
Came back from work cause I couldn't focus on anything!

I have no clue what to do ... should I go over? should I keep a low profile and risk losing her? She can say goodbye to her ex-boyfriend ... but he keeps calling her just to annoy her I think.

Hope u understand the story cause I don't ... really don't

[vashti]

It doesn't sound like she knows what she wants. You don't want to be the rebound-guy, do you? I think you had better move on. She will contact you if she makes some definitive decisions in your favor.

Sorry, my friend.

[TAVS]

You're a very needy man; chill out. You knew what you were getting into.

I say forget about her. Tell her if she wants another shot; down the road; fine, but don't call you for at least 6 months.

[lookinforlove14]

i say you should just tell her that if she ever needs anyone, you will always be there for her, no matter what. then let her sort herself out, and after a couple of weeks/months, give her a call to see how shes doing

[Ellynn]

Definately wait awhile to let her find out what she really wants. She is on the rebound, and its understandable why. She needs to straighten out things with her ex and come to the conclusion whether or not she wants to be with him. In the meantime, I think you should move on, but keep things with her open to possibilities in the future.

[Gigabitch]

Wow! She's treating you like a Ken doll. She just takes you out of your box when she feels like playing wtih you. I think you should draw a line.

[mini696]

Been here... Done that... Got VERY hurt.

I would say run away, but I know for a fact I wouldnt take that advise.

[blauw]

Been here... Done that... Got VERY hurt.

I would say run away, but I know for a fact I wouldnt take that advise.

Yes one part of me says ... WAIT! She's worth the waiting IF all comes good for you.

Other part says ... Just forget about her.
Still i'm feeling awfull 24/7 when I don't hear from her! I should be mad, but i'm not

[id_ego]

Don't beat yourself up - this stuff is rarely easy. Ask ourself some questions though: If she isn't sure about making a comitment firmly to you, do you think it is wise making a comittment to her? She is definatley in the wrong place for a new relationship right now and I don't think you will do yourself any favours waiting with baited breath for her to be ready, you're just going to drive yourself mad. I think you need to try and find something or someone else to take your mind off of her. If it's real bad and you have the freedom to, why don't you take a vacation or a weekend away - either by yourself or with a friend/friends that understand where you at and will be sympathetic. If not, i'd suggest trying to surround yourself with good sympathic people, all the same.