I just found out that I was cheated on.

[fifteendays]

Dear Anyone who cares to listen,

I've been sitting here for hours, staring at this blank text field trying to put the words together to describe how I feel. I just don't have them. I believe I opened this new post at around four o'clock and here it is six. Thinking about the time that I've just been sitting here staring at this blank text field is really bothering me. I can't stop crying. I feel like every part of my body has been ripped out. The air doesn't feel as replenishing to my lungs as it did before. I know that sounds a bit dramatic. I just really hope that you get what I'm saying.

I've been with this woman for two years. I thought, and still think, that she's the one for me. Am I crazy for still wanting to be with her? There are people who have gotten past things like this before. Why do I never hear their stories? I don't want to be judged for my decision in still wanting to make my relationship with her work, but I don't want to feel like a fool. I'm at a loss and I just need someone to be there for me. Someone to give me the right words. I'm pretty sure everyone will tell me to leave, but what if my heart rationally wants to be with her? I know there is nothing rational about love, but it feels as if it's so.

I can hear everyone now telling me to leave and that she's no good, but they don't have to live with my decision. I want to come across a couple who has been through what I'm going through that has the right words to give to me. Someone with experience in coping with things that normally shouldn't be given the consideration to continue. My heart is fragile and I've worked damned hard to get to the point that I am with her. I don't want to give it all up. I can't. I need this. I've learned to be forgiving. How do I move on?

I can feel that she's truly sorry. There are some extreme circumstances surrounding our relationship. I don't use them as excuses, though. She was wrong and I acknowledge that. I know that she loves me. This guy has been around far longer than me. That's still not an excuse. She should have kept her word to be in a fully committed, faithful relationship. I am so upset with her. I don't deny myself the emotion of anger. I need to be mad at her so that I can move past. I don't want to grow to resent this woman. I swear to you, I love her with all of my heart. I want her to be the mother of my children when the time is right. There is no greater satisfaction in this world other than that thought and possibility.

I'm asking for ways to cope. I know that I should leave, but my heart lies with her. I've fallen in love with this life that we have been working toward having. She slipped up and fell into something that could possibly be the death of our relationship. I've chosen to forgive her and be there when she stumbles. This, to me, is a test of our strength, maybe mine moreso than hers. I've had some things given to me during the course of this relationship. This could be a test of how strong I am. I'm convicted in my thought that she still has no excuse for what she's done. Test or no test; although some things are bigger than ourselves.

Yes, I'm a stupidly in love; but I feel as if I'm thinking as clearly as I can without the anger, bitterness, or resentment clouding my judgment. I don't have all of the answers to go about what I've decided to do. I'm in dire need of someone who has been through this and has a success story. They may be rare, but I know there is someone out there who can relate to this with a good story. I'm open to the bad ones, too. Insight is always great.

I'm sorry for the length of this. I really had to get that off of my chest.

Sincerely,
Fifteen Days

[Gigabitch]

You have to go through the anger and bitterness to get through it to the point where you can forgive her and take her back, FifteenDays. Otherwise you're just putting it off until later.

If you really want to take her back, things have got to change. First of all, the guy she cheated with has got to be out of her life permanently and then you guys both have to work on why she cheated in the first place. Saying "it was just a mistake" isn't going to cut it. If you want your relationship to be rock-solid, you have to know she would never do it again and to know that, you have to know all of the reasons why she did it in the first place.

[SirWagginston]

I think it would help if you described in more detail the circumstances of the cheating.

[confusedoften]

im also like this..everytime we fight, we often end up breaking..sometimes when she's "off", i sort of feel that im being cheated to another man myself..but i really dont know..

if you really see her being sorry for what she's done, forgive her..but in time..not forgive her all of a sudden..make her do something to make you forgive her..coz in any way you see it, she still cheated, she did something wrong and bad..if you think what she has done is more than enough, then start over..if you see her change the things she has done and made everything better, then forgive her..what she needs is loyalty..i think she's lucky to have you dude..REALLY lucky..coz even after the cheating, you still love her..i admire your unfaltering love dude..i know you're stupidly in love with her..im like that too.. ^^ i really love mine too..even if sometimes her faith yields..i can't even leave her..im scared to lose her..

[Perryville]

I don't know how old you are, 15, but there are plenty of honest women in the world, for you to be stuck with this one. She cheated... that means that she didn't love or respect you enough to stay faithful. Yes, maybe you both have problems in your relationship, but that is not an excuse for infidelity. Mature people, if they have problems, will communicate, will discus, will solve these problems, TOGETHER. She , instead of coming to you, bailed , and f**ked another guy. This shows her real self. You can forgive her if you want, but you will never trust her again, completely. Why should you? Dump her, now! Then find a trustworthy person to give your love to.