Two months in... and he's saying he's in love with me?

[kbee]

Is this too early?

I asked him if he was truly in love with me, or in love with being in love. He claims he is in love with me. All his actions are aligned with his words, and he has treated me like royalty since the day we met. He even backed off when I told him it was too much too fast. He has totally respected me and my body and my need to take things slowly.

And he still affirms that he is in love with me. Only two months into our relationship. Oh, and he and I both came out of long-term relationships recently.

Is this too early for him to be saying he loves me? Am I being unfair to assume his feelings should be this way or not? I just think 2 months isn't enough time to really know if you love someone. I wonder still if he is just in love with being in love.

[Tanguerra]

Sorry, I don't understand. Do you have a complaint about him saying he loves you? What's the problem? Surely this is a nice thing not a 'problem' as such. Sure, he could be wrong. Sure, he might change his mind. For the moment, why not just let it unfold naturally? Why do you need to control what he says? What's wrong with 'being in love with being in love' in the first flush of a romance?

[elmore44]

Being in love with being in love can sometimes is not always good. It looks needy at times and not a mature relationship. It is okay sometimes. It makes us giddy and happy. I went through that this summer and I really was hurt and disappointed with the outcome. So just take in stride and do not leap into it. Let him prove his feeling through his actions and as stated above let it unfold naturally.

[kbee]

Tanguerra: being in love with being in love has to do with just wanting that feeling--love (no matter who it may be). Sometimes people are stable financially, in a good career, have everything that they need--except they don't have that significant other yet. And they are so ready for it, especially when they have never been married and they are approaching 40 years of age (in my opinion). My boyfriend is at this point in his life. So I am cautious about whether he is really in love with me as a person and for who I am, or just in love with being in love-- just ready to have that relationship, no matter who it is. I feel sometimes that he really just wants to be in love, and would treat any woman this way and tell her he loves her, just to have the final piece in his life that is missing. So saying "I'm in love with you" too early makes me think this... if it is too early.

But I have been know to be foolish in my thinking and not know when I have a good thing.

[MerryH]

I wonder still if he is just in love with being in love.

It's probably this. I believe that you cannot know someone well enough after two months to emphatically state that you are completely in love. Someone who is able to say that so soon would be too impulsive for my tastes.

But if your relationship is going well other than that, and he's not pushing for you to say it back or anything, then maybe it's not worth making a fuss over. I mean, if his worst quality is that he likes you too much, then that's kind of a happy problem. Maybe.

[Tanguerra]

Yes. I agree. I'd say this is a 'good' problem to have at this point. No doubt some of the 'tinsel' will come off before long when the first flush of romance passes. No doubt the 'rose coloured glasses' will get a bit tarnished. That's perfectly normal. That's the time to see whether you really get along and really have what it takes to form a lasting relationship. For now, just enjoy! Don't spoil it.

How do you feel about him?

[Kathryn6586]

I don't think 2 months is too soon. I knew I was in love with my boyfriend after 2 months but we just had that connection and I could feel he was in love with me too. It really depends. Obviously you are feeling that maybe he really isn't in love and is just saying it. I would guess that on your end you don't feel that deep into the relationship yet. I was in a similar situation with a guy who I was dated started telling me he loved me right away but I knew he wasn't realllyyyy in love with me. Follow your gut...if he says it but you don't feel that he means it then you're probably right. Some people throw the word around.

[devonbrown]

The more concerning thing is that you are both coming out of long-term relationships and he is saying this. I don't think he is necessarily in love with being in love. But it is quite possible that he is scared of being alone. And he might equate being in love with being in a relationship and not being alone. A lot of people get so used to being in a relationship that they have a hard time readjusting to life without a partner.

But if he isn't pushing for more than you are willing to give, you can always just chalk it up to him not being mature enough to fully understand the word.

Good luck.

[warriormaiden]

^^I agree. After being in a long term relationship, and you find yourself in another, feelings that you think are genuine suddenly spring up. Give it another two months, and lets see if things are still as sweet as they are now. You guys are still in the honeymoon phase.

[oldskool83]

hes prob not full in love, its not gonna happen that quick but you could be feeling emotions that are the same as love which if you ask him 2 months from now im sure he is going to be sure of what hes really in love with, right now it seems your just making his world better which is not a bad thing at this point in time