one small advice

[Cloud206]

i've been with my girlfrend for about 4 years now,i was 16 and she was 14...last summer she made a mistake,i forgived her,but now after almost a year i feel like it's not the thing i whanted,not the "marriage" that i had in mind,it's like i'm always watching her to not make somethin stupid (i do not mean cheating),mistakes in the way she uses the computer, everything....at first i felt ok but she just ain't learning nothing...i'm afraid to go a party or just do the small parties on the street that i used to do,playing some football with the friends,drinking 1-2-3 beers,because the "mistake" that was about an year ago was with one off my friends (damn bastard),and i found out that she one,some time ago went to her cousin's birthday (i didn't go,hate her family) and she met somebody and lied to me going for a "walk" with another girl and him,(but in her diary she said like she didn't want to break up with me so she never met with him).I just don't know what to do,stay with her or just deal with it ..after four years or being toghether and 2 years of living toghether i always expect when i come home to see her,to have her make me some food and just be.. i'm not being mentaly destroyed like other but seems like a part of my life is just passing without doing anything.

[lesa]

Does she have problems learning? What do you see as the future for you two?

[Gigabitch]

You read her ****ing diary?

You suck.

[lesa]

You read her diary? I just noticed that part. Wow, that is completely wrong.

[boobaa]

Well, but isn't her writing into the diary the things she does, sort of lying? She isn't faithful to you. But at that young age of exploration these things just wait to happen. Girls and their ****ing diaries, man!

I would dump her ass if I am not comfortable with it. She is lying to you. You don't suck, don't worry.

Why can't people be complete 100% honest with each other? Then we wouldn't need diaries to write our guilt into...

I am with the opinion that punishment is neccesary sometimes, even quite often, as it appears. It frees people from stress that is causing tention.Trust issues are caused because of that tension, from both sides. Also, when the person feels guilt, then he/she NEEDS to be punished to get free. Otherwise it may also happen that these people never learn and get used to making mistakes, geting used to forgiveness. This may also lead to neurotic behaviour, where person makes mistakes because he/she wants someone to punish him/her, and can even lead to masochism (which I doubt will happen here, of course)

[Cloud206]

i never intendet to read it on purpose...just that when i saw her lying in my face and did not whant to admit it i needed verification...when i was wrong i always say it ..but it seems like girls can't..i keep saying that i will break up with her...but always fail to start the topic

[boobaa]

You are not happy, you will find someone better if you grow bigger balls.