Hi everyone! This is my first post!

First some background. I met my husband when I was 17, and then I left him December 2012. (no kids). I was with him for 20 years.

My goal when I left was to be alone.... I wanted friends, but I was not looking for a relationship.... I was planning to travel this coming Jan for 2-3 months to Central America. I had never done a solo trip, hell, I hooked up with the husband when I was 17, I have barely ever done anything solo..... Call it self satisfaction in independence? I don't know... lol.

Now, to make things complicated, I ended up meeting an amazing guy..... We are actually quite serious. Our relationship has everything that my marriage did not. (he is also divorced). But..... the urge for me to do a solo trip is still there.... And he greatly disagrees with me going, and does not at all understand me wanting to do it. I am no longer thinking of 2-3 months, but 1 month instead. I have not booked anything.... I feel torn, stuck in the middle. I love this guy.... But I think that if I go I will lose him.... He says that as a couple we should be doing things for 'us' and as a 'we'. I do totally agree with him there. It's a hard topic to bring up as it usually ends up in us fighting... Or, actually, him saying his piece, and me going quiet... I am not very good at sticking up for myself....

I feel so lost in this.... Am I just being selfish???

Sigh.... Please, I would love some thoughts, insight, etc..... Thank you!