Advice needed about my situation. GF broke up with me.

[pfe1980]

My gf of 6 years recently broke things off. Things ended amicably. The reason for the break up was because she said I was putting my career ahead of getting engaged to her. I told her I wanted to get my master's degree first which is very close to being completed. I told her I love her very much and do want to marry her. Last time we saw each other met at our favorite book store to exchange stuff I had at her apartment and stuff she had at my house. Things were great she was laughing, touching my arm, leaning on me, calling me sweetheart etc... She started to cry when it was time to go. She said she would have gotten back together but since my brother said something nasty to her she wont. (think that is total BS, basically he told her she won't do better than me with a few curse words thrown in).

That was a month ago. We have been no contact since that day. Two weeks ago she signed into her MSN account. I am the only person that is on her msn and we'd talk on it frequently while we were at work. Neither of us have facebook or anything like that. She signed on for about half an hour then signed off. I am on all the time talking to friends and business contacts so she knows I am on all the time. I didn't message her and she didn't message me. Since then she has signed 3 more times same thing online for about half an hour and I didn't message her. Do you think she wants to re-establish contact?

This weekend I was playing tennis in her hometown which is about 10 miles away from my house. Her sister drove past and saw me and my friend. I felt like I was going to throw up. Now I feel like they think I am stalking her.


What should I do? Any input would be great. Thanks in advance!

[flo_22]

I am sorry to hear about your break-up. I think she does probably miss you, well of course she does, you were part of her life for so long. Her behaviour seems to be confusing, probably because she is confused. I may be totally wrong so don't completely rely on this, but maybe she had got to the stage of thinking about the future. I'm assuming as you are doing your masters degree now, that you got together pretty young? It could be the whole 'grass is greener' syndrome of thinking what is out there. It's no disrespect to you, but you have been talking about marriage and creating a future together. I think this is obviously been on her mind too, because she admitted she was unhappy because in her mind, you were putting your career ahead of making a more serious commitment to her.

It seems like she is just needing time to sort herself out. Maybe engagements and marriage were something she liked the idea of in her head, but when mentioned as a possible real thing, she just freaked out. I think she will still have feelings for you because you were together for such a long time, and maybe this time alone will help her make up her mind about what she does want. I think you did the right thing in not messaging her because you are respecting her decision to part. This puts you in a good light.

I'm not sure if her logging onto her MSN account is a sign she wants to re-establish contact, if sounds very likely if it is just you who is on there, but you have to remember that you don't know that for sure now. She may have other friends and such on there, so try not to make too many assumptions. As long as she knows how you feel about her, that is all she needs to know, and that will help her realise what she feels for you, and what she wants. For the time being, I think it's best to focus on yourself. I know it's cliche, but try and keep your mind preoccupied with other things.
Good luck, I really hope it works out for you.

[pfe1980]

Thanks so much for the reply! Should I continue no contact until she makes the effort to contact me?