New Guy, Quiet Lonely Guy

[bazM]

Hey guys, just signed up.

Just posting a bit about myself and my life if anyone is willing to read.

I have never been in a relationship and I'm turning 21 in February.

All I want from life is to be in love with someone special and be happy. Not being able to hold hands with someone special and give them all the love that has been building up in my heart ever since I was born.

Everyone around me is happy, I live my life watching others smiling, being happy, cuddling their partners, loving their partners and there I am, the odd one out who has a lonely heart and broken mind.

I'v never been in love. I wish to improve my life for the better, for those that I care for and care for me in return. I want to achieve the best in life and help others achieve the same. I want to live around happiness, be happy and help those who I care for be happy.



I have only ever really truley liked one person in my life........

I had recently seen a girl who i liked sooooo much. We got on well together. She was absolutely beautiful and has a great personality. We made love a few times together and I suppose I got really attatched to her. I was beginning to have feelings and kept missing her all the time she was gone. It turns out that she doesnt want the same thing as me in life, and that for me was to be with someone special (hoping it to be her). However she would rather have a casual relationship which just wasn't enough for me. I couldnt understand that. I couldnt understand how you can get so close to someone, make love but not have any feelings towards the person. The thing is I suppose I was too nice to her. I took her everywhere, paid fines for her friend being sick in a taxi, let her stay at mines many times, bought all the drinks and food. I was really nice to her. I even let her cry her heart out in my arms which really got me even more attached!....Not once did she invite me up to her home or invite me out anywhere.

I seem to be really far too nice to the wrong people? I seem to be nice to everyone outwith my household family for some reason. I do things for other people and im beginning to realise I never get any appreciation back from these people and I really feel down about it.

Aside from that girl I really liked I also had received an email form my dad whilst he was at work which really hit me hard. What he states on it really is so true and it apepars I never even realised that I was doing this to others and to myself.

For anyone who wishes to read the email from my dad here it is...

Me and your mum have had enough of your crap attitude to your family, we didnt bring you up to have no respect towards us or your brothers, we give you everything we possibly can, we try our hardest to help you get a job( me and your mum are trying harder than you to find a full time job you cant even be bothered applying because you have to phone someone),we try to help you to get your car fixed etc etc etc, let you bring pals and girlfriend to the house to drink then stay overnight.You show no respect towards any of us, you run about after so called pals, pay taxi fine for complete stranger nothings a problem for these people but you would never think of taking your wee brother (Adam) to the bowling , pictures mcdonalds etc. You never think of your mother unless its to do your washing, you only ever want to speak to me when the cars broken and all you say about Bryan is you hate him. Things have got to change, just sit down for 5 mins and think about your family and you might realise what you have. All we ask is you treat us and your home with a bit of respect. You'll have many friends and girlfriends during a lifetime but you'll only ever have one family.



I don't know whats happened to me. I feel so lonely.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read my post. I really appreciate you taking the time to read the above and also any comments you reply with.

Thank You

[frederika]

bazM, if i may comment... you need to set your priority.. i wouldn't be worry about love life, If i were you, you're still young.

[swallowtail]

I think it's actually really good that your Dad can say that to you. It's really honest and open communication and a lot of families don't have that. And I think it's even better that you were able to take what your Dad said as true, and reflect on how you can change. Have you apologized already and told your Dad that he is right? Have you offered to take your brother out bowling etc? Bought your Mom flowers or a card just to say thank you? Put your love life on hold just for a little while and show your family that you care about them.