Suicide

[someguy6785]

Nobody freak out, please do not post your favorite anti-suicide link. I am not actually going to kill myself. It would hurt my parents way too much.


I just read this article on suicide.

"Why do people kill themselves? The simple answer is: because they’re very sick. Healthy people do not commit suicide."
Maybe people who are in love are not healthy.

I still love her more than anything, even though we've been broken up for 5 months. She knows me better than anybody else, and she decided I could never be forgiven. So she goes on with her life not forgiving me.

People tell me to just stop caring. They say she's just some *****. But I know that she's not just some *****. Everyone says that when they break up, but it's not true. She is a kind caring person who always puts herself last. She would go hungry to feed a criminal. Now she has decided that I am not worth forgiving and there is nothing I can do to change her mind.

So she must be right. Yes, I believe her. I am beyond forgiveness. If I didn't know I was hurting her then I will do it again and again and again. I don't want to go through life hurting people. She says she wont take me back because I will never change. She's right. I will never change.

I am destine to hurt again and again. The only way I can prevent more people from being hurt is by ending my life now. She was able to recover but what if the next girl can't. What if she just stays with me because she doesn't have the will to leave? I would just keep hurting her without knowing it. It's in my blood. I can't change. Yes suicide is the only ethical thing I can do with my life. I'll write her a long letter explaining that it wasn't her fault and that she shouldn't feel guilty about it.



I can't do it. It would hurt my parents too much if I died before they did. Maybe there's a book out there, "Dealing with being Forsaken: for dumbies" :-P

[lilwing89]

you need "getting over chicks for dummies"

[someguy6785]

you need "getting over chicks for dummies"

You should write that book. If it works you'll make millions. I've dated 2 other girls since and she hasn't dated at all. I can't stop thinking about her. She was so good to me. If anything I'm getting more into her as time goes on.

Did I mention that I have to see her every day for the next 3 years?

[whaywardj]

People commit suicide because it works.

Good book idea, BTW. I'm sure it's next on their list: [url]http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0764550721/002-2170543-9131210?v=glance[/url]

[Vanilla Gilr]

So...you REALLY want to hurt her? You want to **** her up for the rest of her life? You HATE her that bad?????.

Then by all means kill yourself. Maybe do like my ex did and do it on her birthday!!!!!!!!! That will teach her!!!

No note saying it's not her fault will EVER make it okay for her. Killing yourself will be the most selfish hurtful thing you could do to anyone in your life.

I'm been on both side. I suck at trying to kill myself. Actually glad I was bad at it. Life is good now. Would have been so much better if Joe had not hung himself...on my birthday...he said he loved me...that's not love...

What did you do so bad that hurt her? And you didn't know it was hurting her? Might not be something that would hurt someone else...people are all different. Dispite this all consuming love that makes you want to wring the life out of her by killing yourself...she just may not have been the one for you.

Five months is such a short periond of time...yes it still hurts...stopping YOUR pain by casuing intense pain and guilt in others is STUPID!!!!!

but go ahead...you want to hurt her ...teach her a lesson she'll never forget for saying she can't forgive you?

Then go ahead...kill yourself...

You can bet she'll suffer and be sorry...

but you won't care...you'll just be dead.

[bluesummer]

So she must be right. Yes, I believe her. I am beyond forgiveness. If I didn't know I was hurting her then I will do it again and again and again. I don't want to go through life hurting people. She says she wont take me back because I will never change. She's right. I will never change.

I am destine to hurt again and again. The only way I can prevent more people from being hurt is by ending my life now. She was able to recover but what if the next girl can't. What if she just stays with me because she doesn't have the will to leave? I would just keep hurting her without knowing it. It's in my blood. I can't change.

Ok, ok, what exactly did you do to hurt this girl? Cheat on her? Hit her? What?

Secondly, I don't understand all this self pity garbage about how you're destined to hurt others again and again, it's in your blood, and you can't change yourself. You're making yourself sound like a serial killer. My guess is that you are just insecure, and you certainly are capable of changing that. If you've convinced yourself you can't change it's because you don't want to, and if that's the case then you get what you deserve.

But again, what is it that you did?

[carpflounder]

But again, what is it that you did?

Dont hold your breath. This guy doesn't want real advice and he isn't giving the whole story. He just want us and his ex to play to into his drama. He's too chicken too kill himself too.

Why bother?

[bluesummer]

Honestly, I don't know why I bother sometimes.

[someguy6785]

I didn't cheat on her or physically hurt her. If I did this would be easy to figure out.
I played psychological games with her. I manipulated her 24/7 without even knowing.

I know this all sounds so self absorbed. I'm deffinately looking for pitty here. That's part of the problem. It happens with friends too. As soon as anybody starts caring about me I use the fact that they care to trick them, so I get what I want. Freinds, family, therapists, It doesn't matter.

You all know people like this. Self absorbed assholes. Have you ever seen one change? I'm the biggest one you'll ever meet. The girl doesn't think I can change and neither do I.

[whaywardj]

Well, as long you prefer crying in your own beer, no, you won't change. I know you'll find this hard to believe, but the fact is, at some level, you've made the choice to be miserable. For whatever reasons. (Maybe, because it's, so far, been effective at getting people's sympathies -- which you're confusing with affection.) Whatever the reasons, the instant you decide to make a different choice, things won't look so bleak. Trust me. I know.

[whaywardj]

Honestly, I don't know why I bother sometimes.

Maybe because it's important to you to make a positive difference?

[someguy6785]

Well, as long you prefer crying in your own beer, no, you won't change. I know you'll find this hard to believe, but the fact is, at some level, you've made the choice to be miserable. For whatever reasons. (Maybe, because it's, so far, been effective at getting people's sympathies -- which you're confusing with affection.) Whatever the reasons, the instant you decide to make a different choice, things won't look so bleak. Trust me. I know.

It's not bleak. I can pull myself out of this kind of thing. It's happened before, although not this bad. I can get on with my life and find a new girl and new friends and earn their trust. Then slowly leach off of them until they can't stand it. But this time I'll make sure the girl is dependant on me so she can't get away. I'll find one of those giving types who puts herself second. I'll live out my life taking from her but telling her I love her so she doesn't leave.
That sounds pretty good to me.

[Ellynn]

Suicide is selfish if nothing else......plus its what most people think.....as..the easy way out. Honestly....to me it would not be worth it. Hurting the people around me that love me so much......my family and friends...

Trust me there have been times when I thought about it. After losing my father suddenly.....and after finding out my mom had bone cancer.. I've talked to you Someguy.....and you KNOW I've had my share of difficult times. They might not be the same as yours....but the point is we ALL have our problems. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... And trust me......when people hear my story.....I would rather have them say to me...."Wow your a strong woman" (which they do) rather then "Wow shes really messed up and is gonna end up in a mental ward!"

Honestly I believe we are definately put throught alot in our lifetimes. SOmetimes it hits people more then others......but in the end we all get our fair share of problems. Its how we overcome them ......that makes us a different person.

I believe people CAN change. I know IM not the same as I was 5 yrs ago....mainly because I was forced to grow up in a short amount of time. I went from having a carefree college life.....to having a parent dead and another one ill. It definately makes you look at things differently.

I have had my share of failed relationships. IN fact.....the one guy who I thought was the "one" at one time......ended up cheating on me. It hurt me like crazy....and it was sooo hard dealing with it......until I got that phone call about my dad dying... THen it put things into perspective and I realized NO man was worth worrying over and getting upset. Family is more important. So now I focus mainly on my mom. But yeah I dated after I broke up with this guy....and you know what luck I've had?? NONE. Just like you. Am I suicidal?? NO. I appreciate what I have NOW!! And thats family and friends. They are honestly ....the only way I've been able to get thru the hard times.
Sure I get depressed from time to time that I don't have that special someone.....but honestly theres time left....and things happen..when you least expect......and I figure he'll come around someday. IN the meantime I'M focusing on what really matters.....the people I love......

So my suggestion to you still.......is you need to let it go. Be civil with her because I know you see her on a day to day basis....but you need to realize that ....that ship has sailed and it just didn't work out. It happens....part of life. There will be other girls......trust ME. Just please stop dwelling on what went wrong......and instead.....learn from it and move on...

Sorry but this is the best advice I can give you....cuz its the truth...

[MVPlaya]

You appeal to ethics and morality but yoiu don't have the slightest understanding of them. You say that you are destined to hurt people and that this is wrong, but then claim that only be ending your life can you be ethical?

First of all, hurting people is not an intrinsically negative thing. People endure many hardships in life and are shaped by them. Looking back at the hardships in life, I can think of many things that happened to me which I disliked, but if I could undo them, I wouldn't, because they helped shape me as I am today. The ontological implications of your actions extend beyond your temporal knowledge.

Secondly, is the zero-sum total of your life the way you interact with women? The fact that you may have cheated on a few and may again? Have you not been a friend to those around you, a mentor to those who look up to you (believe me, there are always people who follow your cue), a son to your parents, and a student to your teachers? Haven't you been learning over the years, even if it isn't in a class room, and accomplishing various things? Regardless of whether you have a 6-digit income or maxed all three credit cards, you are moving forward and have accomplished many things. The feelings of one person can never and will never balance out against your history. It is never ethical or beneficial for you to end your life over the smaller pain of others.

Third of all, if hurting people is what worries you, the pain you offer your parents, family members, friends, community, is infinitely greater than the temporal pain your partners have experienced and will experience.

Fourth of all, suicide is ethically flawed at its root to the point that it can never even matter if you are "nicer" by ending your actions. By committing suicide you condone the notion that you have no obligation to those around you, that you may escape your problems by killing yourself, that human life is void of value and can be disrespected, that others emotions may decide people's worthiness to live, and you lower the threshold for others to commit suicide; you normalize suicide by performing it, thus leading to more deaths from others, beyond the psychological trauma of dealing with the aftermath of your passing.

Quite simply, 1) your actions themselves are not intrinsically bad or to be rejected, 2) others emotions do not come close to weighing all you have accomplished in life, they are irrelevant in your calculus, 3) you have accomplished greater good in life than harm, but 4) MOST IMPORTANTLY regardless of any way you view your actions, suicide by itself is NEVER the appropriate solution. If you killed someone, go to jail, if you act out of lunacy get therapy, if you feel as if you are not accomplishing anything, ask for help, but never EVER say no to the gift of life and deligitimize life and encourage suicide by partaking in such a horrible action.

[whaywardj]

Damn, MV. Appears Someguy pushed your buttons. That's one of the longest posts I've seen from you. All in all, the only real philosophical question is whether to live or die. After answering that, everything follows in a natural order of progression. I don't have any moral or ethical objections to suicide. The only problem I have with it (besides it's being dumb) is that it's so final.

But back to Someguy: Someguy, your comments in post #12 compel me to think you're either playing the board merely to get reactions or are just a hopeless jerk. I can't take seriously anything further you might have to say.