Can u really just be friends with ex lovers

[thetrickster]

Scenario: my gf has exlover that's married. Never completed the relationship. Historically, it has just gone 'on hold' whilst she tried to develop other relationships. She determined to break away during our relationship but during a recent 'time out' we had, she reignited the friendship. We are being cautious about getting the re-entry of own relationship right and moving too fast which has left an opening for them to re-establish something. What's the chances she is just repeating the pattern and will fall into some form of physical/emotion tie again?

[Kyrina]

You can be friends with an ex but only if you both know their is no going back to a relationship status.Im very good friends with an ex and his current GF,She sounds like someone who wants to keep all her doors open and this is never good in a relationship with another person.If it doesnt work in a relationship basis it should not be reopened and closed at the others whim.Sounds like a physical/emotion tie again until she wants something she thinks is better sorry .

[Wakeup]

This is a girl that likes to have her cake and eat it to and apparently always leaves a door open for ex lovers to step back through. She's doing it with you while she continues to do it with her first ex.

Do you really want to continue on in a relationship with a woman who doesn't know what she wants and when she finds out, you'll likely be history once again? If I remember correctly this lover is married yet she is still fraternizing with him and only left him because he wouldn't leave his wife?? If I remember correctly then you are the filler-boy who she uses as an emotional crutch while she waits her turn to be serviced by Mr. married yet again.

Dump her, you'll never be able to trust her even if she does pick you.

[thetrickster]

Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate your frankness. But can I ask if it is usual that if a friendship develops into an intimate relationship for a woman - can u ever ignore that intimacy if u attempted friendship going forward?

In other words, can you imagine going back to just plain friendship feelings?

Thanks...

[Mona_B]

Yes, it is possible. But usually it takes a while, you can't be friends with someone right after a break-up. To be friends, your feelings have to be really clear. Your situation sounds more like the other posters already said, she doesn't know what she wants.

[Beautyw6737]

Yes I agree with Mona, it does take awhile. You have to be prepared to stand up to her and say no if she tries to come on to you. This can be really hard to do if you have not waited for old feelings to pass. She doesn't seem like someone who has healthy relationships. It also seems like she never was able to get over her ex. Good luck