So Confused... truth?

[randomxxrubbish]

Love or just Obsession. Be truthful. SORRY FOR THE LIFE STORY!

I'm 16 years old, female. I've known this guy since 6th grade and I've liked him off and on since 7th grade, let's call him Mike. My best guy friend is his best friend, so Mike and I are okay friends. Our group of friends hangs out often. I think Mike is the most amazing guy; he's caring, funny, strong, independent, hardworking, really good looking, and I find myself thinking about him all the time. When I'm out, I am always hopeful he might show up out of nowhere. I'm a born poet, so I write lots of poems about him (about 40-50% have to do with him and how I feel, but more recently they've dealt with other things...)

I worry about his well being and get stressed out over what he might think of me- I don't consider myself to be the best looking girl around and I know he'll probably never like me, but I try really hard to please him and just want him to be happy, even if I sometimes end up hurt in the end. I can imagine us together- getting married, having kids, etc. Little things or songs always remind me of him. It's hard to imagine life without him, but I know I could go on. He can literally walk into a room and I'll be happier and my mind goes away from my troubles. If he smiles at me, I feel like the greatest person in the world. I look at him when he's not looking and just think about how sweet it would be if we were together. We ALWAYS make eye contact when we talk.

I feel like my strongest love will always be for Mike, but from time to time I find myself crushing on other guys after getting tired of fruitlessly trying to gain his affections. It seemed like he didn't really acknowledge anything I did.

I once made a comparison to my friend to try to explain my other random crushes between my feelings for Mike- "He's like chocolate: your favorite candy. You know he's the best, but you still wanna go out there and try all the other candies to see how good they are. The other candies become your favorite for a time, but you always find yourself going back to your original favorite: chocolate." Sometimes I find myself saying "I can wait forever" and other times I think "This is never going to happen"...

I used to try to change myself into someone he might like, but in the past 2 years I've realized that you can't do that if you want a healthy, successful relationship. You have to be yourself and that's what I'm trying to do. When dressing myself, doing and saying things I ask myself "What would Mike think?". I get my answer but make sure to incorporate my true self in there. I do wonder, though, if I'll ever be able to fully express myself to him. Sometimes I feel like I can't, but the desire is definetely there. And sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in my feelings for him. I'm happy whenever he's around, but I find myself gloomy afterwards because I know I'll probably never be able to make him happy.

I've read articles but I can't decide if it's love or obsession, because it seems like there are qualities of both. I would probably die for Mike if I had to...or get severely injured for his sake. I'm hoping this is really love, but am eagerly prepared to face it if it is an obsession.

[Jas_mine]

Instead of wasting time wondering whether it's love or obsession why don't you just actively show him that you are interested?

[Gigabitch]

Oh, little random. You are adorable. You remind me a little of myself when I was a teenager.

Okay, take this the best way you can, because I'm not trying to dismiss or upset you in any way. You, love, are not mature enough to actually be in love with someone yet. You think you are, but you aren't. You're exploring your emotional range with what appears to be an impossible guy (so it's safe) and that's actually wonderful. There's nothing like an obsessive crush to round out your day (or year). Your feelings for him, though, are so much more about you than they are about him. It's emotional puberty, and I hope it doesn't hurt too much.

Someday you will look back on Mike with a great fondness and think about how much you thought you loved him. Someday you'll have the experience of loving someone who loves you back and it will just blow Mike right out of the water.

[newbiefax]

trying to be my friend, great love