She doesn't know what she wants and doesn't want to hurt me

[blmg911]

Okay so heres the story. I meet this girl we text for abit; one day after a night out we all go back to their house i sleep in her bed with her kiss her and have sexual contact not sex though. We start texting more and in ht next days we have sex a few weeks pass and we are all fine spending a normal about of time together great sex and fun together we have the normal little disagreements here and there but now major.

We are both at uni me in my last year but staying in the city we are in and her in her second still 2 years too go she lives in another city when not at uni. With easter coming up she was going home for 1 and a half weeks we spent the last days together went shopping made meals and it was all very nice. She goes home and for the first few days everything seemed fine, then one day it all changed i could tell something was wrong so i asked she then stated "how been at home she is different and its a different world being at uni and she didn't want to hurt me in 2 months when she comes home for summer, how she said it might just be nowt and she'll usually just be fine agian when shes back at uni" i then texted her later that night as i said i was gonna have a think i said i like her alot and only her and want to carry on and not let it bother us. She then went on to say yeah its all just shit in her head and she'll try however a few more days passed whilst at home and she just didn't text as much and weren't the same so I brought it up again she say how she just had stuff on her mind i tried explaining it'll be fine and it'll pass she can talk to me about anything.

Then the next day she again was weird and out of character she asked me why i was been mardy with her responds so i told her text back basically said: how in her eyes she would rather regret it down the line then hurt me more i rang her and told her how its silly to think that and just let it be she said how she still wasn't sure and would let decide when she was back at uni which was the next when she would be on a night out when i was there.

Again it felt awkward as it clearly would we said hello etc and at the end of the night i said are you wanting me to come back to yours she then went on to say again how she didn't want to hurt me more and home life is so much different there wasn't another guy and she doesn't know if the uni life is all a bubble and not what she want i.e. a bubble. she explain how sometimes she did feel like she had to watch what she said to me as she didn't want to annoy me.

it was horrible and to me it seemed like her reasons for doing this wasn't very clear like she didn't know what had gone wrong. I was nice and said a lot of nice things and tried talking her out of it she said that i could say as much as i wanted but it wouldn't make a difference. I said i understood how someone can not change someone and only a person can change themself.

i was very nice about it and she thanked me and said you still have a bit of your stuff at mine so can come collect it soon i told her to chuck it out and she said no which made me think she wanted some form of future contact and it may not be fully over and may have a chance.

We then carried on speaking and spoke about going back to hers and sleeping but she was saying how it wouldn't change anything, she didn't want me to get the wrong picture and didn't think it was the right thing to do we did go back and i slept again i asked if she wanted me to stay and she said am just not sure if it the right thing to do and maybe we should speak when sober. I told her i was getting in bed and having a cuddle she said okay and never asked me to leave in the night I got up to go and she told me to get back in bed and not to go as it was too early in the morning. In the morning we had a kiss and cuddle and a little sexual contact but sometimes she was like no we can't and she would kiss then when i tried again she would not then would. I wrote a note again saying nice things wishing her the best.

I got home and got a text saying how she was sorry it ended like this but didn't want to hurt me etc it hurt me and i rang her up and explain how its been 2 months and we still haven't got to know each other properly and that she should just give it all a chance and it annoyed me and hurt me more to not give it a chance than to have a go. She said how she was going to think over the next few days but didn't want me to get my hopes up.

its been 2 days now we have texts in the days i know i shouldn't but it doesn't feel the same as before but it wouldn't without a little space.

I don't know whats going on it seems like there is more to it like maybe someone else, i don't know i really like her and its upsetting i keep thinking maybe she'll change her tune but then i also think maybe not

any thoughts people and any ideas of reconnecting?

[basilandthyme]

Sorry blmg, it's hard when someone you're keen on isn't into you. But the fact is that she isn't into you. If she was keen, you wouldn't need to try and persuade her to give it more of a chance.

Let her go.

[blmg911]

Thanks for the reply, I asked her when breaking it off if they feelings weren't there she got annoyed saying of course they are these past weeks have been amazing so that just confused me more

[Forrester.080]

That's what love is all about, it burns hard and it fades away. I think you guys have come to a stage where the "rate" should be lifted up and this can only be done on both sides. I think you should be ready for anything and, most of all, give her time. She needs time to decide, if within a while she doesn't have you and she can't bare it, she will come as you're ready and always there, if not she will go forever and you're ready for that already.

Whatever may happens, it is God's will and I wish you all the best.