My NEW situation.

[Zach]

OK guys and gals, heres my issue I need to talk about. MY first serious girlfriend I ever had was 4 years ago. I was 15 and she was 16 almost 17. Anyways she and I dated for about 6 months and it was purely a long distance relationship. We met only 2wice - once at a theme park for a day and another time when I went to see her at her house for 3 days. Then after a while we broke up because we were to young and it was to hard to stay long distance. Too painful and both mutually agreed to move on.

So we did and we talked for a few minutes every month or so to keep in contact, and just a few days ago she called me and told me she wants to come see me for christmas break. So told her I dont care if she comes, I would love to have her here. I haven't seen her in almost 5 years!! So im excited to have her here. But she isn't here yet- she will get here on tuesday and she will be staying until friday.

Now here is where the problem arises. She pretty much blantanly says that we are going to "have a good time". Im like what do you mean? Then she goes on to say how she is now single and she is going to be staying in my room with me for 3 nights.... so... were gonna have some fun and enjoy being single.

Now this is where I get worried. I have been asking so many people what they think about the situation. Also why I started that other thread about sex just for the physical feeling, but I am just torn and really don't know what to do. I've been thinking like mad recently, I am single.. I don't like anyone. Well I do but she is taken... so thats out of the question. I haven't "got any" since september................

So of course there is the part of me that is like Yeah! But the there is this other part of me that will feel very guilty if I were to actually do anything with her... So I am torn. Some people call me a pussy, some people call me amazing for my views. Some say I shouldn't and some say I should... But I just can't make up my God damn mind. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Junket]

Was that a vent, or were you looking for some kind of advice?

[Zach]

Probably both, but I would appreciate advice.

[Junket]

Well, 3 nights?

If all you just wanna "get some" because you don't see any way of restarting a real relationship, go for it.

If you're afraid of sex without intimacy, then avoid it.

[Zach]

I don't see any possible relationships in my life right now. Not healthy ones atleast. Its not that Im scared of sex without intimacy, I think it would just make me miss it so much more though.

[Ellynn]

Just because she said she wants you guys to "enjoy being single and have fun" doesn't necessarily mean she wants to hop in the sack. If she does mean that, I would be cautious. I mean how do you know if this is a pattern for her?

But, What I WOULD do is just not overanalyze the situation, have a good time, and go with the flow. When you are around her, you will know if its feeling right or not. Even if it is just a hookup. Bring condoms in case, and just go with the flow....

Stop worrying. You haven't seen her in 5 yrs! She may be completely different then you remember. When you see her and are immensely attracted to her is when you should start to worry. Then just do what comes naturally.

If it doesn't feel right, then don't do anything about it. Not a big deal.

[Zach]

Just because she said she wants you guys to "enjoy being single and have fun" doesn't necessarily mean she wants to hop in the sack. If she does mean that, I would be cautious. I mean how do you know if this is a pattern for her?

But, What I WOULD do is just not overanalyze the situation, have a good time, and go with the flow. When you are around her, you will know if its feeling right or not. Even if it is just a hookup. Bring condoms in case, and just go with the flow....

Stop worrying. You haven't seen her in 5 yrs! She may be completely different then you remember. When you see her and are immensely attracted to her is when you should start to worry. Then just do what comes naturally.

Yeah, she said more things that made it clear she wants have sex.

Yeah, I think no matter what I do Im just going to have to go with the flow. Even if it does turn out to be a bad experience I learn from it hopefully. I can see myself being attracted to her... but It would be pointless for me to act on it. gah oh well

[Ellynn]

Yeah, she said more things that made it clear she wants have sex.

Yeah, I think no matter what I do Im just going to have to go with the flow. Even if it does turn out to be a bad experience I learn from it hopefully. I can see myself being attracted to her... but It would be pointless for me to act on it. gah oh well

Ok, since I've read your posts and kinda get a feeling for what type of guy you are(which is sensitive and emotionally involved) doesn't the fact she wants sex after not seeing her for yrs kinda strike you as odd?
Was she like this back when you dated her at all? Do you even know much about her now? People change a lot in 5 yrs you know? How is her track record? Normally I would tell a guy to go for it, but I think that with you, you might regret it. Just wait and see what happens and do what you feel is right when the opportunity presents itself. You might see it happening when you see her again, or you might totally be like "there is no way this is happening!"

[Kiechi]

Maybe Zach is gay?

[Ellynn]

Maybe Zach is gay?

Eh, I doubt it. Maybe metrosexual?

Either way, its cool with me.

[Zach]

Oh please... I assure you Im quite straight.

[Junket]

Oh please... I assure you Im quite straight.

That's not what you said last night.

[Zach]

Only with you Fras.

[Kiechi]

Na-uh, Girlfriend! You LEAVE my man alone! Ya' hear?!

[Ellynn]

Oh please... I assure you Im quite straight.

I believe you. If you were gay you would have no interest whatsoever in sex with females period! The fact that a part of you just wants to go ahead and do it says it all.