Operation Freedom

[middleman]

Give me some thoughts please.... I have been in a 2 year live in relationship. It's just not there for me in the long run, though I thought it might work. I am dreaming (literally!) of other people coming into my life almost daily lately. I get along well enough with this person in my life, but there have been struggles all along with somewhat different backgrounds. I find very little to talk about with her that is of mutual interest and I just can't go on anymore like that. I want something long term, maybe that's why I've been reluctant to let go and be honest with myself?

I have hinted, at times strongly, that its not working but she comes unglued at the mention of it and screams and yells, not my style at all either. As good a person as she can be and as much as I don't want to hurt her I can't deny what's in my gut? Do I deal with the yelling and screaming and sure misery of her moving out in her own time (within reason of course) or get an eviction notice (I own the home) and just get it over with? Appreciate any advice out there. thanks.

[cycletease]

Suffer through the crying. You owe it to her to be an adult and break her heart to her face. Ultimately you are doing her a favor. She deserves to have someone who will love her. Relationships end like this all the time, you have nothing to feel bad about. She will be hurt, she will cry and she will have to leave.

[squirrley]

Wow. I hate those periods of confusion. ok...if youre gut is telling you to leave, go with the gut. You've been staying in this out of guilt. You dont want to hurt her. (know that feeling and it sucks too) so, rather than keeping her HANGING, let go. Theres nothing worse than a man holding onto to something out of guilt. No matter how much you think its helping its only hurting her. 2 years is a long time, and feelings and devotion are there. But if youre sure this is NOT what you want, you have to let go.

Its hard when you care about someone that much, but maybe you want something else. I dont know. But take it from someone whose been left hanging, it really sucks, and it hurts tremendously. Because the more time you invest, the more she will think all hope too. Doesnt matter what you tell her, she's going to be upset, but you have to stand tall for yourself. She's going to cry and she's going to say whatever she can to get you to stay with her. Were females were wired differently than men, and we process emotion completely opposite of you guys. Not our faults, its in our genes, its in our nature.

So take it like a man, get out your balls, and dont let those tears swade you into something you feel is no longer good for you. Or maybe taking a break? I dont know only YOU know whats best for you.

Goodluck to you!

[bluesummer]

Do you really want to be in a relationship that you KNOW you're only in because you don't want to hurt her or watch her 'come unglued'? What about you, and your happiness, and what you want? Relationships end.....she probably knows and feels it too, but is in massive denial. You are actually not doing her any favours either by keeping this going. Your going to have to suffer through some hurt and tears, but the outcome will better for you both.

[middleman]

thanks for the advice! Sorting it out on your own can be easier with the advice of people removed from the issues.