Any advice is helpful please help? LONG THREAD heartbroken

[Need helps]

Me and my boyfriend were together 1 year 3 months, and he is my first everything, especially my first love, and just the same I am his first everything and love. I am 17 he is 19.

Our relationship we were like best friends and lovers, there was nothing I could say was wrong, he treat me like his world started and ended with me, even family members commented on how sweet he treat me.

5 days ago we broke up and it's literally crushing me and killing me inside.

To explain it properly, me and him met on the Internet, and he lived 4 hours away from me so we saw each other every weekend and on holidays we stayed over each others houses for a week or sometimes more. We don't drive yet, and so it meant getting the train which can be high with expenses but it was never a problem, we always got to see each other.

Any way, everything had been going perfect until he went on holiday about 2 weeks ago with his mum end brothers, and he text me like 12 times with in a week and I found it a little odd since he couldn't go a day without ringing me if he was at home. I confronted him about it and he apologised, but I took it too far and mistakenly dumped him, I regretted it within two days and rang him apologising by this point he was back at home, and he said we could try again, but he made sure I was sorry for it by being off with me when texting me.

I decided we should meet up half way, and go out for the day, and he agreed, when he got there he hugged me and kissed me and told me I looked beautiful and i kept looking out the corner of my eye and noticed he wouldnt take his eyes off me, it felt like we were back to normal and I was his world again. After that we were great, apart from the fact the texting still was an issue, I didn't want him to text me every hour of his day, but I would text him and I'd get a reply after 2 hours, there was no text on a morning, and no ringing him on lunch breaks when he was at college.

He came up on the weekend and again it was great.
He went home on the Sunday, and the texting still had not changed, it was just here and there and he never text me on a morning, it would be during the day, like I was last minute?

By Wednesday I said to him how I was feeling and how he needed to change it because I'm not happy and I was literally close to tears, he always said if anything was bothering me, he would rather we talked about it then just threw everything away. But when I told him, he said I can't expect him to text me all the time because he gets busy with family, and he didnt see any problem he was just sick of the arguing and said it hurts that he's not making me happy. I decided again we should be friends, and he agreed because we both wanted different things.

I didn't tell my family because I thought by the next day we would be back together. The next day, I woke up with a text and every hour he text me with kisses and said he still loves me and hopes I'm having a good day, which is all i wanted him to do when we were together? that night he called me on face time and said its killing him and that he cried on the morning looking through photos and cried to his mum, which then he said he told his family, and I hadn't done that and so I started to think maybe we are actually breaking up, cause why would he tell his family? It started to sink in and I felt sick, he sat on the night and said he loved me with all his heart and that is never gonna change because I'm his first love. It was coming to midnight and we had college so we both went to bed with just a "night" it broke my absolute heart, I shattered and started to grovel, which I regret doing since it was me who grovelled last time, even though it was my fault, I kept saying you always said we could try and your giving up, and he said we are just gonna keep arguing if we did and that it would just get to this point again, and as much as he loves me we are best as friends. I told him I couldn't do it, I told him I regretted losing my virginity to him and he said that it hurt to say it and it felt like a knife in the heart. Then I said I couldn't stay in contact cause I'd want more, and he begged me to stay friends, I said if we did I would get false hope of us trying again and said if you don't want to give it a try I can't stay friends so please tell me, so he said we could try again, but it didnt feel sincere.

Next morning, I felt worse, and I had no text like I had the day before, so I text him saying "look, I was wrong to basically make you take me back by giving you an option of that or no contact, so as much as I want to be your girlfriend, if friends is what you want then ill accept it and ill keep In contact. I didn't mean it but I needed to know. I got a text after 6 hours saying he wanted friends again, but he never said it was the arguing he was now saying it was the distance. I went home and told my family. He text me hoping I was okay 3 times and I didn't reply.

They said they think his ego has got too big, from me looking desperate and grovelling to him. Also, that this time because I kept saying I wanted friends he's called my bluff because in the past he's been the one to grovel and he's wanted to show me what it's like. On the other side, they think maybe he's lost interest and much as he loves me, he doesn't want the relationship. But the next day even after I didn't reply he text me how I was so I said yeah I'm fine and he asked what I'd been upto, again I didn't reply. Since then he hasn't text me for 2 days.

I went on my emails and noticed I had a message from my tagged saying he had bought me on pets yesterday which is this game thing where you own people, and he kept buying me back from this other guy, and he knows you get an email.

Why is he doing this? Is he playing mind games?

[basilandthyme]

Need Helps, I'm so sorry you are hurting. It's going to take time for this hurt to pass.

A couple of comments: You were absolutely right to tell him that it's all or nothing. Staying friends will make it much harder for you to get over him than if you did No Contact for a while. By staying friends, you're letting him off easy but making it worse for you. If he wants to break up, let him suffer!

If you're still playing the Pets game, either delete your character or unfriend his character. He can't play with you if you don't let him. You have the power to stop him doing whatever weird stuff he's doing on the game.

Lastly, I really have to say that you were being far too needy with the text issues. I think 8 texts over a week when he's on holidays is pretty good. After all, he is on a holiday and should be focusing on who he's with - not you. And generally speaking, he's absolutely right that he can't text you all the time. I hope that with your next boyfriends (and there will be plenty of more boyfriends for you yet) you relax a bit with needing all this contact.

take care of yourself, grieve and then move on.

[Need helps]

Is there any way I could get him back, I've gave him space and I would change that if I had the chance with him, should I wait for him to contact? How will I know if he still cares? Thank you