Need advice *kinda long*

[Focused]

Well, I met this girl (she's 19 and I'm 22) on Janruary 4th and we got along great. We talked every night on the phone and instant messager from that point on. By about the 4th date she told me she loved me. I spent the night with her 3 different occasions and everything seemed to be going great. Then on the 20th we had our first small fight I guess you could call it. She was upset with me because I showed her plenty of affection when we were alone, but she felt that I didn't show enough when we were amoung her friends. She also called me that day and told me her brother got in a bad accident. She wasn't saying much and I told her that I hoped he was ok and stuff so after a few minutes on the phone I told her I would call her back in a few, which I did. Anyway she told me afterwards that she needed me to be there for her on the phone at that time.

Well, all that might have NOTHING to do with what I am going to say next, but figured I would include it just in case. 4 days after having our little "discussion" she tells me these exact words on instant messager:
"look I really like you and I know you know this is coming but I have to do it because it is what is best for me defintley and you. But I need to get out of this relshonship, its defintley not you and i know you have heard that before but my condition (she has cancer) is getting worse and I have so many things that that interfere with us. I mean after I get out of here (she lives with a friend) then yes I would give you another chance if you havent found someone by then. I'm sorry I couldn't wait any longer becuase I didnt want it to hurt me as bad as it already does. I can't struggle with it right now I have enough to struggle with trust me."

She told me that the "struggles" she is going through are that her parents marriage (her real mom and stepdad) is falling apart, her real dad in SC is using drugs, she worries about her brother who is 17, she has been diagnosed as a "depressed person" (she is already Bi Polar), and she is dying. She is supposed to have surgury soon to remove the cancer, but she says it has spread. I mean I know I have only known her for about 20 days, but I fell in love with her in that time. I don't understand why she broke up with me to this day. Yes, she does have a lot of things going on in her life, but isn't that the job of a boyfriend to be there for her. I told her that I wanted to be there for her, but she doesn't seem to feel like that will help any. She assured me that it had nothing to do with what we "discussed" a few days earlier. I kinda asked when she thought she would be ready to be back together and she told me "it would be a while after my surgury and stuff".

Wait there's more.....So I talk to her on the phone about 3 times since then (never really see her online anymore either) and she seems pretty happy while I'm still not over it. Then 2 days ago she told me that she got really drunk at a party and came home with her friend Brandon. She doesn't remember anything, but she woke up with hickies all over her body. When we were together she would never put herself in a position for something like that to happen. I mean I know we aren't technically together, but if she really still cared for me I would think she wouldn't have allowed that situation to take place. So my WHOLE reason for writing this all out is to ask.... do you think she really loves me and plans to get back together with me and broke up with me for the better......OR.......do you think she broke up with me because of what we argued about or isn't into me anymore and she is too nice to just tell me that so she makes up some excuses. We are kinda friends now, but I'd like know if she is over me so I can move on or if she still loves me then I'll wait on her.




Mark

[Cybog]

So, what's the question?

Move on. It's been barely a month with this chick and she is already full of drama. More drama than you care to deal with, hence you are posting on an internet forum about it. Next time, don't let yourself fall so damn fast.

[Focused]

So, what's the question?

Move on. It's been barely a month with this chick and she is already full of drama. More drama than you care to deal with, hence you are posting on an internet forum about it. Next time, don't let yourself fall so damn fast.

Yea your right. What's funny is she was the one that fell for me fast saying she loved me fairly early on and stuff and then she ends it, seems to act like it was nothing, and I'm the one losing sleep over it. Well, I haven't talked to her yet, but I am going to let her know how I really feel and lay it all out on the line in a few days. Either she wants to be with me or she doesn't...**** this waiting for her stuff. Part of me wants to just forget her though because yes she does have some drama in her life, but it's hard to because I really got to know her and fell for her. What is making me getting over her a TON easier is that I have met a new girl that I am partying with tonight



Mark

[Cybog]

Good stuff.

[valueprep]

If this girl is truly interested in having a meaningful relationship with you or anybody for that matter, she would display it by showing that she genuinely cared about you or another person argument or not! Therefore, I would move forward and not worry about looking back, she will be in your past because you deserve better. That would be the best relationship advice I could give.

Good luck friend.
Brian
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