Some advice on possible course of action...

[Jason_V]

Hey all im new to this site as I was looking for possible pointers for relationships:

Ill give you a brief overview on whats going on with my life and Ill appreciate any possible advice for me!
Im 24 going on my master degree been studying all my life and working all kinds of part time jobs to get by. I am good looking and athletic but im kinda shy and I cant really express myself very good regarding relationships..
In the past 5 years Iv had about 15 relationships lasting from 1 week to 6 months although i havent had complete intercourse with anyone of them for various reasons.. Most of my relationships is because the girl approachs me as I have hit on a girl like 2-3 times in my life.. I dont have trouble finding a girl that will like me.. its the other way around.. maybe im scared i really dont know..
And finally when a girl comes around that im crazy about she dumps me in the first weeks which is a lot of pain for me. Many younger girls are interested in me but iv reached the point now that just kissing is boring as thats all iv been doing for the past years... I just cant fake my feelings and I have many girls as normal friends and I have difficulty understanding if they like me or not.. most of them just dont give any clear pointers of which i can understand atleast
Currently im hanging out with male friends that are in about the same situation as me If not worse and im the most active talking to the girls we go out with etc but I think the ones we are going out with currently see me as a friend. I mean you wouldnt hold and tickle and generally play around with someone you really like would you? I would personally feel kinda akward towards her as i would have deep feelings for her.

Anything would be helpfull cause i really dont know what to do..
On all other fields im very sucsesfull .. im well off , i have a nice car and im sure i look good as im had repeated times of gay males hitting on me



I hope all this is making sense as I am in a down period of my life and Im looking for some advice..

[Gigabitch]

Jason, the red flag here is that you are a 24-year-old virgin. I want you to be VERY CLEAR about your sexual orientation. You have nothing to fear- we're all anonymous here.

What's the deal?

[Jason_V]

no im hetero..

Iv been in bed with women just have encountered problems getting it up.. all related to stress and depression ( iv seen a doctor on this matter )
He gave me some medication for this which seem to work but havent got to the point to test them yet..

I might also be suffering from self-esteem issues but who doesnt...

[Gigabitch]

Did you have some bad stuff happen when you were a kid?

[Jason_V]

no my parents were probably too nice ( they never would hit me )and made me a wimp.. ( self-esteem wise)

Iv tried to fight this weak attitude by getting a black belt in a martial art type and even winning 2 tournaments.. but doesnt seem to help..
Maybe its too deep in me?
The profession im studying ( i prefer not to name ) is succesfull and draws women to those people but still hasnt really helped me..

When something doesnt go really good ( especially relationship wise ) my emotions are really weird.. i might in one case get really upset and in the other not even care..

FUBAR i tell ya

[Gigabitch]

Have you ever had a relationship with someone you really could trust? Someone you could show weakness to? Someone you could love?

[Jason_V]

no not really.. most of my relationships havent lasted that long or iv never felt that way for her.. and on the 2 cases i did fall for her she dumped me within a month without even explaining me atleast why so i can try and fix my problems..

[Gigabitch]

Ouch! You just haven't met the right girl yet. You won't meet her if you keep to your present company, either.

I know this is going to sound really bad, but have you tried a sleazy one-night-stand type of scenario?

[Jason_V]

The problem with that is that i would probably be too nervous to do anything.. but i havent tried something like that to know..

could be an idea..

The thing is that the years are passing and im getting kinda desperate which sucks as i get distracted from my studies and consume all my energies on something not that important..
I usually fall for the black haired mean slut looking which when they realize my character dump me

Any other suggestions?

[Gigabitch]

Eeeew. I just imagined you going for the nice-girl types. Um, never mind about the sleazy one-night-stand thing.

What about oral? Has anyone offered that to you? Maybe you just have a vagina problem.

[Jason_V]

the most iv been offered was a hand job but she got tired as i never cummed...

Actually i probably fall for my opposite as the nice sweet girls that want me i usually get bored of them after the second date so nothing happens

[Gigabitch]

What's so boring? Or rather, what's so much more intriguing about the black haired mean slut looking ones?

[Jason_V]

dont really know to be honest..

Actually i havent recently dated a nice girl my age.. the nice girls i find are around 18 without much experience and they bore me... Dont have really many common grounds and they dont excite me at all.. which i think is normal or not?

The black haired mean slut looking ones know what they want and usually keep me on my toes.. I dont want a completly passive girl
But from my experience those girls dont want me either so I probably have to change my likes

[Ellynn]

Maybe those women who keep you on your toes find you boring. The sexually adventureous ones that is.

So, What i think you need is a good combo of a nice girl with a streak of bad girl in her. They are out there. Just need to find them.

And yeah its true, by the time most people are 24, they have had sexual experiences. Doesn't mean they are slutty etc. I mean some are, some have had several long term monogomous relationships. Some also have been with only one person sexually. But, point is, they actually have some experience. Im sure there are still a few virgins out there as well. Usually if they wait until that age, they are usually saving it for marriage. So at least that kinda rules them out seeing as you aren't attracted to people who have little to no experience like yourself.

So, I suggest that if your NOT waiting until marriage, to get out there and experience different people with the proper precautions. Your first time having sex is NOT always necessarily perfect. It usually is awkward. This is sometimes the same when you have sex for the first time with different people. Usually the thoughts running thru your head is what is running through your partners head. "Am I attractive naked?" "Does he/she think Im fat." "Am I turning him/her on?" "Are they enjoying this?"etc It goes away though with time. Eventually You get into the moment and suddenly that stuff you were so worried about seems so trivial. ALSO, in time you gain experience and knowledge to know what you like and what you don't like. What really does it for you and whats a complete turnoff. Thats part of the whole dating/ sexual relationship process.

You can't expect everything to click as a whole right off the bat. That takes time and practice. I mean yeah some people are lucky and end up finding that person who completely "does it" for them right away. For others, its a long journey thru bittersweet relationships. Point is, if you want to find someone, you have to get in the game.