In love, running out of time...

[MisterTom]

Hello,

So here's the story - I'm a pretty shy, gay 18 yr old guy, and there's this guy I've known and liked for a while now. We're both in our final year of college now, and I feel very much in love with him. I'm fairly sure he's straight, but I reallly need to tell him how I feel - if only because I know if I don't tell him now I never will.

Only problem is I'm absolutely terrified...

any tips/ideas?

[Sonrisa]

i'd keep my mouth shut if i were you. if he is in fact straight he might resent you for liking him. he doesn't need to know about your feelings. keep them to yourself. in a while you'll feel the same feelings for someone who'll hopefully be gay and then you can open yourself up to him. try finding and indirect way to ask the guy if he's gay or not first.

[Spring Haze]

What could be gained from telling him?

[MisterTom]

I suppose a sense of closure, getting things off my chest - he's a really nice guy, I really don't think he'd react badly. And even if he did, the whole point of doing this now (almost the end of the year for us) is so that I dont have to live with his resentment if that's how he reacts.

[Sonrisa]

i still find it selfish. do you want to traumatize him? just to make yourself feel better?

[Yggdrasil]

I dunno... I am a heterosexual male and I have had homosexuals asking me if I would be interested in a date. A simple no from my end was fully respected. No hard feelings, no resentment and just as good friends. I guess it all depends on how openminded one is.

[Peter Pry]

i still find it selfish. do you want to traumatize him? just to make yourself feel better?

It is quite a homophobic attitude you have there, to declare that heterosexuals are "resentful" and "traumatized" when homosexuals are attracted to them.

A gentleman would simply thank you for the compliment and decline the offer. Hardly a traumatic experience.

[Junket]

It is quite a homophobic attitude you have there, to declare that heterosexuals are "resentful" and "traumatized" when homosexuals are attracted to them.

A gentleman would simply thank you for the compliment and decline the offer. Hardly a traumatic experience.

What are you, gay?

[Rollerderby]

so it's really just to get it off your chest? Best case scenario for you he is in the closet, worst case scenario he flips a shit and never speaks to you again.

There is no way we can tell what his attitude will be once you tell him how you feel. For starters, is he aware that you're gay? If so, he probably won't be seriously shocked. But just maybe throw in there that you know he is straight and didn't expect him to reciprocate your feelings, but just wanted to tell him how you felt.

How are you in your final year of college and are 18? are you some kind of child genius?

[NeverBeenNLuvB4]

I find some of the response here about homosexuals a double standard compared to a straight relationship situation. What's the difference really?

If you're a closet homosexual, then you should be prepared that if you let it be known to him, he might let the whole world know.

I agree with Rollerderby that you should have a hint if he could be gay or not & make yourself known that you are.

[Yggdrasil]

MisterTom,

you are whom you are, a homosexual. Your opinion about yourself, your self worth and self esteem and the way you feel about yourself, shouldn't be affected by opinions or views of others.

You're a homosexual. You can decide to empower yourself and make it known to the world and be proud of what you are, and livein the awareness that your self worth does not depend on the opinions and possible shunning of narrowminded people, or you can decide to live in the closeth and feel crappy about it.

Either way... accept what you are and be proud of yourself.

And that's comming from a hetero male.

To all the narrowminded ones: what-ever.. whom are YOU to judge others?


It's all up to you. It's your life.

[Sonrisa]

oh, and we are not talking about, hey i think you are cute, he wants to come over and say, hey I love you. huge difference.

[MisterTom]

Okay, just incase anyone cares or whatever...
Told him the other day in a text. Reacted really very well, very accepting about it (he may have suspected it already to be honest). I've spoken to him but haven't seen him in person yet - will do next week. Overall I'm pretty happy with how things have turned out though.

Thanks for all the responses here - all appreciated.

(btw... RollerDerby - "college" can be another word for secondary school (or high school) here in the UK. )