It breaks my heart

[lastwish]

Since the breakup with my last boyfriend, I never entered a new relationship. And truthfully, I never got over him 100 percent. I still see him in some of my classes. Recently, I have decided to forgive him for acting like an ass when we were together. I have unblocked him on msn and plan to open up the communication line once again. Although, I certainly don't want to be more than friends with him.

And as some of you know, I am dating a guy right now. He's the most attractive person I have ever dated (every physical aspect of him is just perfect). And he treats me really well. He asked me to be his girlfriend after 2 dates but I refused because I thought I needed to know him better before I want to be exclusive. He continues being a really really nice guy and he kept on ringing me and wanting to spend time together all the time. However, I still want to date him longer before I commit.

Lately I have been talking to another guy. He is a good catch too. This guy knows I am already dating someone (and even know who he is) and knows I am not in a relationship. Regardless of the fact that I am dating someone else, he wants to pursue me. Now, I want to play the field until I find someone who is genuine. But I am feeling a sense of guilt for dating multiple people. I know the pain that comes with heartbreaks (since I have experienced it myself) so I really want to treat the guys with kindness.

I don't know if the first guy is getting attached or not. He seems to be ringing me up a lot so I am afraid he might be getting attached. Although, I don't know if he's just doing that for the sake of a challenge (we both know that he has not won me over yet).

Still, I am not ready to commit just yet because I don't know if either of them have the characteristics I want in a boyfriend. It would break my heart if I hurt anyone. Do you think dating more than one person is wrong when you are honest about it?

[tim2963]

No, guys do it all the time also. However I don't do it and I wouldn't want it done to me. They may both keep sticking around or may both say forge you and move on. I would just move on, but that's me.

[vashti]

As long as you are honestabout the nature of your relationship, I don't se anything wrong with it at all. In fact, until you have narrowed down your interest, I think it is smart.

I just wouldn't recommend you sleep with multiple partners, and if you are, be honest about that, too.

[bloodtippedrose]

aww its hard when youre still in school. especially when he starts seeing someone else. it takes a while to get over it but when you do you will have taken a huge step in mental maturity. Be cautious being friends with him, that most always prolongs the heartache.

[girl68]

Absolutely not!

You are being honest with them, find out what you want, which guy has it if either of them.

And enjoy yourself. You're doing nothing wrong!

[Disillusioned]

Not everybody understands the terminology the same way. For me, dating means I'm in a relationship, that's why we're dating. You may want to see how he inteprets the word. As long as the false pretenses are out of the way, ethics are satisfied.

[IndiReloaded]

Everyone is different, but at your age I suggest dating serially. Its too easily misunderstood, like Disillusioned says.

What's the urgency with the second guy, anyway? If he beetles off for some other girl, guess he's not that interested, right? His loss.

[IncognitoSir]

I think you should be clear with both guys about the nature of what you're doing. Personally, if I take a girl out on dates and go as far as to ask her to be my g/f I would not expect there to be another guy in the picture. I'de hope she would tell me this if that was the case though. How would you feel if a guy you were really into was also dating another chick on the side as well as you....and you didnt KNOW? I'de imagine you'de feel pretty down about it. Who wouldnt? Just my opinion on it though.