can male and female be mutual friend forever>

[psaiho]

Hi ppl, I need some advice on this. I know a girl for 10 years and so far we have been very good friend. We like each other alot in some way but we never been in a relationship together.
Recently, we started to talk very closely since we are single together, we almost catch dinner everyday, hang out shopping and talking how our works..etc.
But secretly, I love her alot. I admitted that I love her more than any other ex's I had. I want to spent my life with her but i guess she doesn't feel the same. For 10 years, I never have the courage to ask her. Reasons was that either we were in a relationship, she is 3 years older than me and I never see a hint of knowing if she like me as I do for her.
I'm 30 now, I want to get marry later, so I want a long relationship. I really not looking forward a repeat of dating games. I know who I love the most all the time but I never have a courage to express them, I'm a stubborn person.
I need some courage, I can't wait for another 10 years... I love her so much, and it sad that I can't even be with her. Is it because we know each together for too long? no starks in our feelings? or should we remain friends forever with my heart close on my feelings?
Should I let her know how I feel? if so, can we remain friends still?
Is it a excuse for her to remain friend?

[Primo]

You're in an extremely tough spot. I had a similar situation with a girl, only it wasn't as intense as yours because we'd only been friends about two years. We became very close though, shared our personal lives, went to dinner quite often, watched movies lying next to each other, the whole nine yards.

I could sense her feelings were becoming more serious, so I had a talk with her and let her know that I only wanted friendship, that I trusted her and if she couldn't just be friends to let me know. She said she was fine and assured me that we were only friends. Well, two days later in the mail I got the most beautifully written love letter I've ever received. She poured her heart out, left nothing unsaid. I can't say it caught me off guard, but the fact was I only looked at her as a friend and it was very hard to tell her I got her letter and that my feelings would never be the same.

It ground our friendship to a screeching halt, because I did feel betrayed and didn't trust her anymore. Don't get me wrong, I understood why she did what she did. It was more important for her to follow her heart and take that chance than to always wonder, but it changed the dynamics of our relationship forever.

It's your call, I'd say at this point you will only ever be her friend. But don't live life with regrets either, ya never know.

[lovedoctor007]

A very difficult decision, you could either end this relationship bad or the other option is to regret your whole life that you didn't tried it.

Here is what i suggest for you to do. Try to set up a romantic move, if she finds that repulsive because she likes you as a friend not boyfriend then make a sign to your closest friends to come in and try to look as it was a surprise party and that it was all a joke, if she seems sexually interested then carry on with her and don't call your friends

[BoredGeorge]

No if the girl is more attractive and they don't have sex.

[psaiho]

It is hard call this one. I wish I can turn back time in some stage in life. And one of them is that I'll express my love for her when we first met. It's the best timing at that time in our relationship.
Regreting is the deepest uncomfort i had so far, I always regret it when I heard she had a new boyfriend, or I should call her early to have dinner with her or doing little thoughtful things to make her happy.
It's difficult as well if I switch my mind, cos we are just friends. Friends don't call each other up so often or doing little sweet things. I believe there is a border line sometime with female friends. If it a male friend, there is no border at all, we can call and hang out like brothers anytime and anyplace.
Oh well, shit. I going to lose my mind later.

[BoredGeorge]

It is hard call this one. I wish I can turn back time in some stage in life. And one of them is that I'll express my love for her when we first met. It's the best timing at that time in our relationship.
Regreting is the deepest uncomfort i had so far, I always regret it when I heard she had a new boyfriend, or I should call her early to have dinner with her or doing little thoughtful things to make her happy.
It's difficult as well if I switch my mind, cos we are just friends. Friends don't call each other up so often or doing little sweet things. I believe there is a border line sometime with female friends. If it a male friend, there is no border at all, we can call and hang out like brothers anytime and anyplace.
Oh well, shit. I going to lose my mind later.

People on this thread have given you very good advice which you have continurally ignored. It is your negative attitude that is holding you back.

[lovesjoyajm]

You're crackin' me up, George.