No Contact

[SuperSmooth]

My boyfriend left me a couple weeks ago. I was reading on here about No contact. But here's the thing. He wants to stay friends. It is just not something he's saying, because he still keeps in touch. Saying Hello over IM, calling me every couple days etc. It doesn't bother me or anything, since I still love him, it's good to stay in touch. But I really really want him back. I dont want to throw away the two and a half years we spent together.

Is No contact the best way to get him back? I mean, it's not like I'm just calling him all the time. He seems to want to be a part of my life. He's keeping in touch with me. I figure, if I keep in touch, he might remember the things he loves about me and come back.

[Gribble]

It's over. He left. You might get him back, sure. Once he's exhausted all other possibilities.

Or maybe he'll use you for a ****buddy. Ditch the guy. Wallow in your misery for a little while. Then forget him and find someone better.

[Ath]

People make mistakes... but some mistakes are nearly unforgivable. For example, if I were in your shoes, the moment he was "with" someone else would probably be the point of no return for me. At least that's what I like to think.

[SuperSmooth]

He wasn't with anyone else. He just left. He said he wasn't happy lately.

He still calls and talks to me on IM. I'm just concerned because I'm not practicing No Contact. But I'm not sure if my situation counts since it's not like I am looking needy. It's a two way thing. I'm trying to figure out the best approach to getting him back. Should I talk to him about us or just pretend that everything is fine?

[bluestrattos]

you gave a fine suggestion: talk with him. let's all pretend that we're not in second grade, and talk with him. He already left you, so what he can do? stop chatting with you, stop calling you ? Well, if he do that, you know that there's no possible get back.

[Gigabitch]

The guy is stringing you along. He wasn't happy, so he left you. Now you're not happy. Does he care about that? It doesn't sound like it. Does he know you're heartbroken and still in love with him? Does he think he's doing you a favor by being "friends" with you?

I've said it before- the only exes I'm "friends" with are the ones I'd consider sleeping with again. To me this says you have a chance to get him back, but you'd better think about what your terms would be. Gribble's right- you're in danger of becoming his **** buddy. Is that good enough for you?

Remember, he will never treat you with more respect than you show to yourself. Never.

[SuperSmooth]

you gave a fine suggestion: talk with him. let's all pretend that we're not in second grade, and talk with him. He already left you, so what he can do? stop chatting with you, stop calling you ? Well, if he do that, you know that there's no possible get back.

Although this doesnt directly answer my question, I wanted to let you know that this is some good advice. Thanks

[Ath]

If he wasn't happy, did he tell you why?

[C172H]

No contact is the best way to get over someone. When you're still in contact with the ex theres always the burning desire to get back with them, and also ask if they are seeing someone else knowing fair well that if they was to say yes it will crush you.

It is possible to be friends but in oder to do that you must first get over him. This is where no contact is imperative at first. Once you're over him and no longer in love with him you can then be friends, if thats what you want.

[SuperSmooth]

Well some portions of our personality can clash from time to time and I think sometimes we both let that get in the way of all the good things in our relationship.

I'm not trying to get over him. I'm trying to figure out what approach gives me the best chance at getting another chance with him. I'm past the heartache, I just want to leave the door open cause I think we had more potential than he may have been seeing when he left.

[Ath]

Inevitably, it is your decision, however, I agree with the others and say some doors are better left closed. If you think heartache can't return, I would truly hate for you to be wrong.