is it time to move on??

[help_me]

in my previous company i liked a guy...at times when i thought he liked me he just took a step back..anyways now i have joined a new company bt i am still in touch with him...now i never invite him or ask him out (since earlier he never looked interested).. he asked me 2-3 times for lunch/dinner (once he messaged me at 4.30 in morning asking to join for lunch), i turned down the offer as i was busy...now whenever i ask him abt his day or plans he most of the times asks me to join along with his friends... he is just being nice or he likes me?? its like i am dealing with two different personalities.. i dnt understand his nature least to begin with. one moment he is nice and bam the next moment he is rude and totally opposite... and i stuck betwn my own reaction...as to how sud i react back.... is there any chance ...or sud i just move on?? any opinions??

[smackie9]

Move on. If you have to come on here to ask for advice then it's not looking good for you.

[help_me]

lol..thanks ...wasnt expecting this kind of advice

[Wakeup]

in my previous company i liked a guy...at times when i thought he liked me he just took a step back..anyways now i have joined a new company bt i am still in touch with him...now i never invite him or ask him out (since earlier he never looked interested).. he asked me 2-3 times for lunch/dinner (once he messaged me at 4.30 in morning asking to join for lunch), i turned down the offer as i was busy...now whenever i ask him abt his day or plans he most of the times asks me to join along with his friends... he is just being nice or he likes me?? its like i am dealing with two different personalities.. i dnt understand his nature least to begin with. one moment he is nice and bam the next moment he is rude and totally opposite... and i stuck betwn my own reaction...as to how sud i react back.... is there any chance ...or sud i just move on?? any opinions??

You're jumping the gun here are'nt you? Why do you have to know if he wants to be your boyfriend right away before you even accept an invitation to do something together?

Obviously he likes you in some capacitity or he wouldn't invite you out. At what capacity he likes you remains to be seen. So far all that's known is you were co-workers, he asked you to lunch, you declined and now you're wondering why he's not jumping up and down and begging you to join him.

One step at a time. If he asks you to join him then go and see what developes. If he never asks you again then that would likely be because he's asked you a couple of times (to lunch/dinner) and you've turned him down. O_o That would be logically speaking of course.

[Windmillback]

He could be a little shy and hesitant and often that means that very little actions on your part frustrate him because it already takes so much for him to reach out to you. It could be that he has a professional ethic to not get too close to people who are his colleague and now that you are with a different company he is reaching out to you. He is doing it right by starting politely and not too forward, inviting you to lunch, asking you to join with his friends and not giving up after you politely turned him down once. Accept one of his invites and just see how a first gathering goes before you decide how to let it proceed.

[bulrush]

It sounds like you are giving a clear signal to him: that you are not interested. You don't ask him out, and when he asked you to lunch, you said "no". So, I'm sure he moved on, and you should too.

[help_me]

well i asked him out for dinner and he said that he wud let me know... sign the moment never came

[help_me]

well he kinda re-schedule it for next day (why coz he went for drinking and only responded by midnight).. i was pissed off at this and i refused his dinner plans and went out to meet other frndz of mine

[ctr916]

in my previous company i liked a guy...at times when i thought he liked me he just took a step back..anyways now i have joined a new company bt i am still in touch with him...now i never invite him or ask him out (since earlier he never looked interested).. he asked me 2-3 times for lunch/dinner (once he messaged me at 4.30 in morning asking to join for lunch), i turned down the offer as i was busy...now whenever i ask him abt his day or plans he most of the times asks me to join along with his friends... he is just being nice or he likes me?? its like i am dealing with two different personalities.. i dnt understand his nature least to begin with. one moment he is nice and bam the next moment he is rude and totally opposite... and i stuck betwn my own reaction...as to how sud i react back.... is there any chance ...or sud i just move on?? any opinions??

I thought women were used to that form of "double standard". Anyway, why not simply try to be a friend (with or without benefits) and see where it goes? In my opinion a girl can never have to many (boy) friends (with or without benefits).

In any case, you will be in a better position to judge for yourself if a friendship with that guy is worthwhile to you or not. In my opinion, if you are unwilling to even try to be friends with a guy, then you should move on.

[Wakeup]

well he kinda re-schedule it for next day (why coz he went for drinking and only responded by midnight).. i was pissed off at this and i refused his dinner plans and went out to meet other frndz of mine

You're a silly ass. You play games and you deserve to be alone until you grow up.

[help_me]

well i dnt intend to play any mind games bt it does hurt wen the object of my affections returns the favor with rather less enthusiasm than i might have hoped. well anyways last night we went out ( a bit late towards mid night) to our usual hangout place. Anyways he pulled a big time saying he was getting married..not sure if he saw the shock on my face and then i realised he was just goofing around.not sure why he did (maybe coz i had played the same one couple of days back). now as usual, he is speaks less wen we are together... we spoke abt our future plans and we in between we kept pulling each others legs.
i do want to take a step ahead and admit my feelings bt i am afraid of rejection as well.. would be nice to know if he feels the same towards me as well...

[ctr916]

Don't take Wakeup too seriously; you can always claim to be easy and have guys tell you what you want to hear, for a little while simply to not be alone. It is a game most women play, regardless of what they claim.

[help_me]

well if u say that woman play all the games...then wat abt the guys... i am not trying to score or anything and i would be more than happy to say yes to my guy...yet again just coz i like him i cannot keep adjusting my plans according to him...he will revert back only when he is free and same goes for me... it wud feel good if he would take an xtra effort from his side as well at times... i guess i have given him lots of clues and the only thing i can think of right is now is to directly propose him (lol)...

[IndiReloaded]

one moment he is nice and bam the next moment he is rude and totally opposite...

Well, if he's rude why on earth would you want to date him? People who start out rude only get worse. Familiarity breeding contempt and all. I advise you move on.

well he kinda re-schedule it for next day (why coz he went for drinking and only responded by midnight).. i was pissed off at this and i refused his dinner plans and went out to meet other frndz of mine

'Kinda' or did he reschedule? Did he apologize for getting back to you so late? Not technically necessary (its not like he committed to dinner and stood you up) but its a polite social convention to apologize for missing someone's communication, especially when they are asking you on a date.

If he is non-committal about dinner then he's just not interested. Move on. Consider what I said about rudeness.

[IndiReloaded]

Don't take Wakeup too seriously; you can always claim to be easy and have guys tell you what you want to hear, for a little while simply to not be alone. It is a game most women play, regardless of what they claim.

I don't even understand this post? Is this person actually suggesting the OP pretend to be a slut, but not to go through with it? A cocktease, in oldie-ese?