Mothers & Fathers please help me out! So Angry!!

[CocoChanel]

I've been irritated all day because I think my goddaughter's school is not taking care of her well. It seems like every other week something is wrong with her.

Since school has started I can make a list of things that has happened while she was in their custody:

1. She had a scratch on her arm. Longer than an inch.

2. A scratchy knee as if she fell and scraped it.

3. They have lost 2 of her jackets.

4. She had an upset tummy, when Anako called the school and asked what she had eaten... they said she ate a lot of sweets that day. But we don't pack sweets for her at all. So where did she get them from?

5. Anako says that there has been several times when he has picked her up and she complains about her head hurting.

6. She has a runny nose. Yesterday when me and Anako picked her up they had her outside without her jacket on and I was livid. I went inside to get her jacket and to the front office because I wanted to schedule a meeting with her teacher and such. So we are going to be doing that on Monday.

I talked to her today and she says she gets picked on a lot and the girls pull her hair and push her sometimes. I am so upset by this!!! Why are they hurting my baby girl like that?! Should I switch schools? How should I handle this?? All mothers please help me out.

[tooxshort]

Talk to the other kids' parents and let them know what's going on ... Most parents are just as concerned and will take care of it ... Others, well ... I've already got it planned out to start stepping to other parents if their kids start bullying mine. It's barbaric, but do whatever you must to protect your keep.

Also, let the school know exactly what's going on so that her teachers can make note of it and pay a little more attention to what's going on around her.

[IndiReloaded]

Spend a day/half day at the school to observe. Also make sure you are involved in the school.

I make it a point to know each of my son's teachers, principle, etc. I have been on the exec board of whatever school my son has attended. Yes, it takes up your time but if the school staff know you personally, they are much more likely to treat your child well. Just how it goes.

Don't get angry with the school officials, Coco. That won't help anyone. You are either part of the problem, or part of the solution. Have a plan and KNOW WHAT YOU WANT before going in to any meeting.

[Petit Papillon]

Talk to the other kids' parents and let them know what's going on ... Most parents are just as concerned and will take care of it ... Others, well ... I've already got it planned out to start stepping to other parents if their kids start bullying mine. It's barbaric, but do whatever you must to protect your keep.

Also, let the school know exactly what's going on so that her teachers can make note of it and pay a little more attention to what's going on around her.

Super Daddy Planned everything before his baby daugther started to walk

[IndiReloaded]

Regards bullying, make sure your school has a clear anti-bullying policy in place. When they involve the children from Day 1, the incidence of bullying goes way down. Its quite clever, b/c the children police themselves with "hey, we don't do that at OUR school". It becomes a point of pride for them. Early childhood psychology is wonderful.

[Bumble_bee]

I would expect the school to tell me if my child had had a fall/bump/scratch, especially the one you described....as for getting sick it's pretty common amongst kids, but the bullying is quite worrying. How old is your God-daughter?

Have a word with the Principle, the school should have all sorts of procedures in place for dealing with lost property, reporting injuries and rules on what they feed the children, and if they are not following these than I'd have strong doubts as to their capabilities in handling and monitering bullying.....and if this is the case hun, I think you should consider changing her school, for her own well-being.....what you listed seems unacceptable to me.

[Bumble_bee]

Spend a day/half day at the school to observe. Also make sure you are involved in the school.

I make it a point to know each of my son's teachers, principle, etc. I have been on the exec board of whatever school my son has attended. Yes, it takes up your time but if the school staff know you personally, they are much more likely to treat your child well. Just how it goes.

Don't get angry with the school officials, Coco. That won't help anyone. You are either part of the problem, or part of the solution. Have a plan and KNOW WHAT YOU WANT before going in to any meeting.

I agree with Indi, stomping in there will not help the situation, stay calm, all the information you ask for is your entitlement as a parent/guradian, and they should not get defensive with you because you have concerns, if they do not seem reassuring enough then definately change schools....

[tooxshort]

Regards bullying, make sure your school has a clear anti-bullying policy in place. When they involve the children from Day 1, the incidence of bullying goes way down. Its quite clever, b/c the children police themselves with "hey, we don't do that at OUR school". It becomes a point of pride for them. Early childhood psychology is wonderful.

Too bad a lot of kids get bullied so badly that they don't say a thing to anyone about it. I think psychological bullying is worse than physical ...

But for the most part, if you confront school officials, they bullying will go down ... It worked for a few kids in my school. The teacher simply told us to be nicer to some kids and it actually worked ... but if all else fails ... step it up.

[IndiReloaded]

Too bad a lot of kids get bullied so badly that they don't say a thing to anyone about it. I think psychological bullying is worse than physical ...

This is the beauty of having the children themselves be involved! Other kids almost always know what's up.

If your state doesn't have a good policy, here is a National resource from the Canadian government. Its a good place to start:

[url]http://www.publicsafety.gc.ca/res/cp/res/bully-eng.aspx[/url]

[Lipp]

Its quite clever, b/c the children police themselves with "hey, we don't do that at OUR school". It becomes a point of pride for them. Early childhood psychology is wonderful.

"Freeze, bedwetter! There won't be no running in the school cafeteria of my neighbourhood!"

[tooxshort]

Honestly, I wasn't even aware of anti-bullying policies anywhere ... I mean, I thought it was just a thing that schools simply weren't supposed to tolerate.

[IndiReloaded]

Ha. Well sometimes the staff themselves are a problem, yes. I did once tell off a teacher for yelling at a couple of kids for running in the hall before school. Her screaming at them wasn't exactly helping the children to take her seriously.

Still, she probably was having a bad week. But hell if someone in charge of my kids is going to take it out at work. Take a yoga class, bitch (my thoughts, not what I told her).

[IndiReloaded]

Honestly, I wasn't even aware of anti-bullying policies anywhere ... I mean, I thought it was just a thing that schools simply weren't supposed to tolerate.

Well, there are different ways to deal with the problem tho. And proactive intervention is always more effective than 'after the fact'.

At my son's school, all the children are taught 'the rules' in the first week as a group. Older children are paired with younger ones in a Leader/mentor role, which helps the young ones fit in, and the older ones feel an important sense of responsibility for the whole school. They take it quite seriously, its remarkable and nice to see. Leadership is an important skill to teach children, and its mandatory for the older grades.

[CocoChanel]

Thank you for the advice!!!!! You are right I will be calm about this. My god daughter is 5. Anako has been calm about this I haven't. Whew! I will calm down by monday. She never told us that she was being picked on until today. Me and Anako do need to be more involved with her school so I am going to talk to him about that tonight.

Thanks a lot. You have no idea how much this helped me.

[IndiReloaded]

Its hard to hear your child is being picked on. My son went through a bit of that b/c he would use words and language that the other kids couldn't relate to. Problem w/only child of bookish parents.

We dealt with it by having many talks with him about how people relate to each other and things he could do to influence those interactions to have positive outcomes. Now, he is one of the school 'leaders' that other children look up to and follow. He's much better at empathy and understanding other people's motives than either of his parents, actually.