Don't think this is going to work...

[Bigg Boss]

My first real relationship where I decided that I wanted to be exclusive with this one girl. And I'm starting to think that I'm not ready for this commitment.

We have the most fun when we are together. But on the phone... Blah... That had been our only communication tool for 2 months. I met her at a meeting, but we only talked on the phone for 2 months before we were able to go out on a date(which is when I asked her out). So now, phone conversations are growing kinda stale.

When we talk now, I watch the clock so when it hits that 45minute mark, I say I gotta go. And I'm sure this isn't how all relationships go? All these men here are wanting to talk to a girl everyday (being clingy) but I'm the exact opposite. Blah, I guess I'm not the relationshp type of guy.

So after I thought about it, I decided to take a lil control and after about 25 minutes (since conversation kinda died, as usual):

Me: Well I'll talk to you later.
Her: Why?
Me: I said, I'll talk to you later (guessing that she missunderstood me)
Her: About what, why do you need to talk to me later?
Me: Uh because I have to GO, I'll talk to you later
Her: Where do you have to go, why can't you talk to me now?
Me: B-because i have to go (stuttering a bit) I'll talk to you later OK?
Her: *giving up* ok whatever

I never get that kind of reaction when I try to get off the phone with a girl (unless they're just playing with me). She was serious. And what really bugging me is that this may be a sign that she expects us to talk for a good amount of time each call. Even after 45 mins sometimes, she'll sound disappointed when I say I gotta go. Which aggravates me because why talk on the phone when there is nothing to talk about? I don't want her to find me uninteresting anymore when conversation has died, I tried to end the phone call. Bad move???

Also, she's really moving pretty fast. She already is trying to get us to use the L word. She started by saying "What if I said I love you". I didn't respond by saying i love her too because she would've asked if I meant it, and right then would've found out if I'm really committed to her. But it's only been a month (if that!)! I'm still trying to dictate the pace of this relationship, but I'm always having to slow her down.

We already had an extreme makeout session on the first date. People have told me I need to watch out after I told em what happened on that first date. But maybe she just loves my personality that much?

I guess what I am asking here is, should I just go along and try to at her same pace? Next time I get the chance, say I love her (in person)? She already shows that she loves me alot and is committed. And what about the phone conversations? Should I work on keeping up conversation for an hour each day? I like her alot, and I see myself with her for a long time, but I didn't think it was good to move too fast in relationships.

BTW, we're 16 (oops), and only get to see each other on the weekends (until I get my license)

[clynn]

Sounds like you like her except that you don't have a chance to figure out for yourself how much or in what way, etc.

Girls sometiems are a few steps ahead of their man.....but she should at least allow you to catch up...and take the lead.

I don't know. Maybe tell her that you either need to a) cool it down or b) take a break for a while.

You might be needing to communicate this stuff to her.

Also, girls always want to talk on the phone more than boys (well, almost always).

[Late_vamp]

you bastard , i would kill to go back in time and get a girl that young while myself i would be that young , appreciate this buddy , after this i tell ya , shit thats to go down ... until it picks up after a couple of years ... like when your done with your studies and your looking for the right one if you havent found her .

ps: i was kidding btw , in case u dint get it

ok real advice , its good that you dont attach yourself too soon , but at least dedicate more time to her or she might think your playing her or that you cant commit ever .

[Rosebud]

Guys aren't very good on the phone. Most guys don't stay on the phone longer than like 10 minutes and even that's pushing it. Since you tried to get her off the phone by being a little rude instead of just saying well I'm a little tired or actually telling her you don't really like talking ont he phone, she felt you were just not interested in talking with her anymore (which she would take offense to). You shouldn't judge yourself of not being good at relationships just because you don't like to talk to her on the phone. Just tell you, it's not really you. Maybe call her more often for shorter spans of time. You know just to say hi and that you were thinking of her and then tell her you'll call her later and do so.

And just be honest about all this stuff.If she flat out asks you if you love her, be honest, say your just no there yet but you care for her or however you feel.

[PTC03]

Wow, yeah. I would agree that she is moving fast. Especially since you said you are only 16. I'm 22 and have only said the L word to one guy (and only once) and then I wanted to take it back cuz I thought it was too soon... after 5 months!

I've got issues of my own right now and may not be the best to give advice, but I'd say if you aren't ready to move that fast or use the L word, then don't. If you say it and don't mean it, it isn't fair for you or for her. Maybe just explain that you really like her but feel like she is moving too fast. Just be honest! Most importantly, be honest with yourself!