long distance

[applesJR]

Okay I will try to keep this as brief as possible.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months. She is a senior in high school and Im a freshman in college. We both love each other a lot, but she lives in minnesota, and i live in california which is about 2000 miles distance. It really sucks. We talk on the phone everyday at least once, and lately we have been getting into arguements that are really weird. I think it has to do with talking to a person that I cant see so much that we run out of things to talk about so we get a little edgy with what we say to each other. It sucks.

But anyway, I have come to the point where I feel like moving back home (minnesota) and going to school there just so I can be with her, because I really really dont want this to end. She is too important to me, and we are great for each other. But I feel like my future is out here where i live now in california, and she actually even plans on moving out here soon. At the lengthiest, 2 years. I want to wait for her, but it is so hard. I really dont wanna move back home.

But anyway, i will end this. I think the summer coming up will say a lot about where we are going in this relationship, a good solid 4 months of being with her. But then i will come back out here for the fall.

Any advice is appreciated. thank you so much

[tooxshort]

As cliche as it sounds, you have your whole life ahead of you. Even though you're in love right now, you're at a point where your life will change significantly ... I've changed a whole lot since I was 18 ... I'm 24 now ...

I definitely think you should continue your future, here, in Cali. If it's meant to be, you won't HAVE to move back home to make the relationship work. Basically, you're meant to be wherever you're at and, yes, everything happens for a reason.

No GREAT advice other than don't give up your future for anyone else, but yourself.

E

[sfalexi]

I agree with tooxshort. ESPECIALLY about people changing. College years bring a HUGE change. The independance, the different cultural crowd you'll be around (especially in Cali. You're SURROUNDED by diversity there), everthing changes. So honestly, hate to say this, but your relationship with her has a good chance of changing as well. Whether it be because of the long distance, or because you feel that you've changed and are no longer compatible. But here's my advice anyway . . .

You feel lost without her and want to move to be with her. And what happens down the road if something happens (which, lets face it, most people date A LOT before finding the right one) and you've left everything behind to be with some girl who'se now your ex?

Remember, that no matter WHAT you think, YOU are your #1 priority. She can be #2 right behind you, but if she really is meant for you she'll understand that you are at a school that you really want to be at and working towards a degree that will help you establish a future that will hopefully include her in it. You feel so much for her that you want to move back to be with her. But what you REALLY need to do is see if she feels enough for you to wait for you to finish what you really need to do.

Alexi

PS - There's no stopping her to applying for a california or other western school since she'll be attending college soon as well. Think about that.

[LightOn]

Long Distance Relationships have to suck!

Not being able to see each other probably creates tension in the relationship. The longer you are apart the HARDER it will be for you when or if you get together. If you choose to end it make sure you do it while still on good terms with each other. If one is upset with the other, someone is possibily going to feel guilt. Guilt can make a person very pessimistic about their own presence, and that has no positive results. Plus it can be contagious if you don't cut communication for a while.

I would lean towards sticking to your roots, you chose to take school in cali. Might want to finish it up there. Try to be happy where you are and with what you have, even if it's not everything you want. Because where ever you go, there you are.

[applesJR]

Ya, that all makes a lot of sense. I think I should probably stay out here, and if we are meant to be together, she will eventually make it out here herself. I just need some time to grow and find out who I am. I think she needs to do that too.

Anyway, thanks for all the responses. I appreciate it

later, james